Is it .. ?

It is when reality hits you in your face that you realize how you had been dreaming all this while. Love they say cannot be found, it finds you, someday when you least expect it. Out on the street as you pass by couples holding hands, you find a stray smile streaking your lips and some where inside your heart, in that corner which you don’t visit often, a sad thought comes knocking. Sometimes it whispers at night, the loneliness, that you try to forget wrapped in the warm folds of a quilt.

A lot of times like the clay balls we throw away we keep aside a precious ball as a gift of life, never exploring it, never feeling that it can be a gift for us. And then all of sudden like the brilliant sunrise from the East, someone walks into your life and you are left blinded by the glow, and almost half scared you close your eyes, you hide away, left speechless with awe, wonder and fear.

Then in a moment, just like all other things in life, you feel a sense of bonding, a longing like despair, like something within you earns to find an outlet. And all you want is to move close and feel what you can at the ends of your finger tips, and you want to discover the tingle that spreads each time you touch, arbitrarily you meander through streets you know and don’t, re-writing memories.

In the very moment of togetherness, the words drown behind formality, fear and expectations, then in expectation of something strange, wonderful, a miracle, a sign to show that this is it. You are left walking back into your room, and as you get drenched in the shower you smile, not knowing why, not knowing how, someone probably just knocked on your heart’s door….. And you dream, sometimes letting half smiles caress your lips, and wondering where all this is leading to……

May be dreams do come true…
Especially when you least expect them to….

“To love is human …
But
To be loved Divine!”

one of those days

I am not sure...
yes, it's been such a long time, i have just forgotten how to trust wat my heart says.
it is so difficult to think or imagine or hope. thats such a terrible thing to say, have i lost all my hopes?

wat is killing me is the conflict, and i have those in large amounts all the time...

never having thought something can be wanted or desired, because it was too gud to be true, and suddenly being made to stand under a floodlit stage and expected to respond...
i am completely blinded....

perhaps by my own inability to respond, or by my lack of enthusiam, may be i hv bcme boring...???

may be i have grown up..???
may be i have lost dat tuch??????????????


oh !! its so frustrating not to knw which way to go...!
i have always followed my heart but i am scared, wat if i am wrong.. i dont wana mark one mre hit for the board.

well my experience is nt worth mentioning, i hv a 1 and half experience wid love, n i have foolishly refused to be in love wid anyone for years now fearing myself....

scared that i may hurt people...
as if the criticism dat i received had completely broken my faith in being a gud person, n a person who cud make pple happy.. yes thats it, i think i have stopped believing tht i cn make pple happy!!!!!!!!

may be dats wat it is.. may dats y i am so scared...

i wish i cud say .... dat i like u,
or dat i really wud like it if we got together ..
it wud a dream like experience fr me.. but i am afraid to say the words..
fearing that this itself is a dream taht may break if i speak out....


help me!