SILENCE and WORDS, are they necessarily
opposites !!
I start off on a vague note, but that's how
life really is!! The technology that allows
us to hold communication with any one
anywhere we may be as long there is network
connectivity and balance, today allows us to
keep memories in images, voice recordings,
motion pictures, and with them music. The
real life saver is perhaps this one thing.
The world in which we live seems to be so
spoilt for race, it blurs past us, and
somehow despite friends, family we feel left
out and alone, a stranger amongst strangers
(my way of describing). However, in all this
the Apple Iphone grips the market with a
frenzy, to possess it would mean so much..
and achievement of nano technology(may be
i'm worng with the terminology), who cares!
truth remains, we are continuosly searching
something smaller, more portable in which we
can cram more and more things, music, books,
pictures, thoughts, memories and work...
We often speak of work- life balance, but
how is it possible when we carry our work
and personal life to and fro between office
and home? There was a time when one could
advice young professionals not to carry
office files back home, but the Flash drive
brings not just office work but mingles our
personal PC items into the office PC,
ofcourse, for the worse CUrsed there's the
office Laptop which is with you wherever you
go...
There's the office phone, once a Landline,
now a mobile that's always with you can't
possibly turn it off, forget it!!It's a
tight leash around us ... !! Do we realise
it? We see it as perks and requirements!!
Anyways, meandering and ranting over!!
Music soothes our mind, one of my friend's
pointed it out to me that best medicine for
melancholia and depression which I also
suffer, considerably more in this grey
monsson...is MUSIC..!!And like all other not so nice stuff he is
right about, turns out this one's true!
Cause everytime there's something messed up
taking shape (contradiction!!) in my head i
turn on the music.
So, carry your laptops, and get yourself, a
wireless headphone for office, and Ipod, or
a Music phone, and turn it up and turn it
on!!
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR EXCEPT THE GREAT
SILENCE ITSELF .. !!! .. !!
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
green thoughts
W
alking along the paved path in the Botanical Garden, I wondered about all that lay far behind and all that lay further ahead. The futileness of such thought generally attracts the staunchest critic yet there is always the positive word of understanding. There is mostly the fear of not knowing where we go that threatens to engulf our ability to see the beauty that surrounds us.
Just like the Racer in the animation flick CARS who discovered that speed is not the essence of life, it’s the nature that swept past him in his pursuit of the chequered flag that is what he had missed on.
Life when you are walking amongst friends, with whom you don’t really need to verbalize your every thought, seems a lot lighter. A strange choice of words, given that it ‘heavy’ when one ponders. But anyway, I felt lightened, no, I felt quite heavy, out of breath and all that but there was something or some part of my being that felt light, a little less bogged down by thoughts of what next and what now??
The greenery soothes the eye, and opens a more delightful sight in front of the mind’s eye, of a glade hidden behind Bamboo trees and other vegetation, making a safe haven which can hold two people.
Some where there is too much to talk, too much to do, there is that need to spend more and more and yet find less and less satisfaction in the time we spend.
Malls and Movie halls are all very well, but there isn’t anything that we do to relax our minds. At least I do not do much. There may be a truth in letting ourselves be drawn back into nature. May be not the botanical gardens, may the Victoria memorial.
Yes, that’s another place I visited and there the feeling was one of decaying splendor teamed with this grandiose view that kind of made you significant. Again a contradiction! Grandeur leaves us feeling less significant, but, sitting in front of the palace, on the green grass seeing people around you happy, delighted with something so small as a visit to this monument, kind of makes you see the worthiness of human life. Our ability to feel and make ourselves one with nature, and our surroundings gives us the ability to feel one with god, with the energy that flows though all things.
Resting our mind is something we need to do consciously.
I have been wondering whether out of the time that I spent being sad or melancholic, if I could spend some time just being in the midst of a lot of greenery, imagining thinking, unbinding the mind.
The desire to write was strong in my heart when I walked, and even more when I sat and rested, I felt I could spend the entire day just gazing across the span of things, which made this place a small replica of the Universe itself. No sad thoughts entered my mind. I don’t know may be, I was HAPPY!!
alking along the paved path in the Botanical Garden, I wondered about all that lay far behind and all that lay further ahead. The futileness of such thought generally attracts the staunchest critic yet there is always the positive word of understanding. There is mostly the fear of not knowing where we go that threatens to engulf our ability to see the beauty that surrounds us.
Just like the Racer in the animation flick CARS who discovered that speed is not the essence of life, it’s the nature that swept past him in his pursuit of the chequered flag that is what he had missed on.
Life when you are walking amongst friends, with whom you don’t really need to verbalize your every thought, seems a lot lighter. A strange choice of words, given that it ‘heavy’ when one ponders. But anyway, I felt lightened, no, I felt quite heavy, out of breath and all that but there was something or some part of my being that felt light, a little less bogged down by thoughts of what next and what now??
The greenery soothes the eye, and opens a more delightful sight in front of the mind’s eye, of a glade hidden behind Bamboo trees and other vegetation, making a safe haven which can hold two people.
Some where there is too much to talk, too much to do, there is that need to spend more and more and yet find less and less satisfaction in the time we spend.
Malls and Movie halls are all very well, but there isn’t anything that we do to relax our minds. At least I do not do much. There may be a truth in letting ourselves be drawn back into nature. May be not the botanical gardens, may the Victoria memorial.
Yes, that’s another place I visited and there the feeling was one of decaying splendor teamed with this grandiose view that kind of made you significant. Again a contradiction! Grandeur leaves us feeling less significant, but, sitting in front of the palace, on the green grass seeing people around you happy, delighted with something so small as a visit to this monument, kind of makes you see the worthiness of human life. Our ability to feel and make ourselves one with nature, and our surroundings gives us the ability to feel one with god, with the energy that flows though all things.
Resting our mind is something we need to do consciously.
I have been wondering whether out of the time that I spent being sad or melancholic, if I could spend some time just being in the midst of a lot of greenery, imagining thinking, unbinding the mind.
The desire to write was strong in my heart when I walked, and even more when I sat and rested, I felt I could spend the entire day just gazing across the span of things, which made this place a small replica of the Universe itself. No sad thoughts entered my mind. I don’t know may be, I was HAPPY!!
Monday, April 23, 2007
Finding NE!!
Ha ha ha!
There is no pun, no sarcasm, no illusion, no selusion in what i have names this post.
This is a blabbering of a rapidly sickening mind which seems to find no release what so ever in anything it tries to dabble in. The fucking world seems unworthy of my existence. Where is the peace that we suffer so gladly for! Hah! as if in it's entirety this world is ever going to make sense to any of us. Least of all ME!
So, where was I? Finding NE is so "interpretive" (sic) you can think of so many things all together jumbled into one...
Finding Nemo
New
Me
you no... never no more of you, actually no you at all.
Selfishness engulfs everything, all pain and all remorse. Did you know that? Selfish-ness .. even as it rolls off your tongue leaves it tasting bitter as if it is burnt with somethign hot.
Yet there is only a temporary peace, pushing people away making them pay for their insensitiveness.
Can there be any release from the horror! A vaast empty pit opening out inside you, where you cram in everything from your days work, to the latest book, or may be a F@#$k even, but still there is the emptinees taht refuses to go. Is it something desirable? something like the turning up of the AC and letting the warmth of the quilt cover you from head to toe, feeling - dreaming - fantasizing that it's his hands that move over you...
But such terrible anxieties grip your heart and tear them away from every meaningful thing that you try and grasp,as you search hard across the mirky deaths of MANGROVE...............!!!!!!!!!!
There is no pun, no sarcasm, no illusion, no selusion in what i have names this post.
This is a blabbering of a rapidly sickening mind which seems to find no release what so ever in anything it tries to dabble in. The fucking world seems unworthy of my existence. Where is the peace that we suffer so gladly for! Hah! as if in it's entirety this world is ever going to make sense to any of us. Least of all ME!
So, where was I? Finding NE is so "interpretive" (sic) you can think of so many things all together jumbled into one...
Finding Nemo
New
Me
you no... never no more of you, actually no you at all.
Selfishness engulfs everything, all pain and all remorse. Did you know that? Selfish-ness .. even as it rolls off your tongue leaves it tasting bitter as if it is burnt with somethign hot.
Yet there is only a temporary peace, pushing people away making them pay for their insensitiveness.
Can there be any release from the horror! A vaast empty pit opening out inside you, where you cram in everything from your days work, to the latest book, or may be a F@#$k even, but still there is the emptinees taht refuses to go. Is it something desirable? something like the turning up of the AC and letting the warmth of the quilt cover you from head to toe, feeling - dreaming - fantasizing that it's his hands that move over you...
But such terrible anxieties grip your heart and tear them away from every meaningful thing that you try and grasp,as you search hard across the mirky deaths of MANGROVE...............!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
.................
F@#$% F@#$% !!!!
JUST GO TO HELL!!!
White noise and nothing else
There's no more or no less,
Pain is all that remains
After love burns in Heart's grate.
Tell me no words of sympathy
Pull down the shutters on my mind
Let me wander in a lost city
Let me not look for any more answers.
JUST GIVE ME A BREAK!!
(No a KIT KAT)
Peace has left this mind
One flounders in every step
Looking for manna and finding Poison....
WHERE IS HELL!!!
Let me DIE n REST in Heat n Suffering....
LET ME LOSE all sense of truth, fairness, worth and all
LET ME FIND hell on EARTH ....
LEAVE ME ALL YOU FILTHY THOUGHTS OF NICEITY...
ruin all
ruin one
ruin life n death ... n love
LOVE = DEATH
Both are equally distant in our mind, and the matter of fact is both are very near to us withut us realising it....
F@#$ Philosophy!!!!!
qwertyuil;dfgbnmtryukiuilkbnm,ujnkiljjlolorety437820evjckxlc,cdwhy4p2op9ijbdfqgbndckwejb2qgfbn3jmn2qlfdcmn
JUST GO TO HELL!!!
White noise and nothing else
There's no more or no less,
Pain is all that remains
After love burns in Heart's grate.
Tell me no words of sympathy
Pull down the shutters on my mind
Let me wander in a lost city
Let me not look for any more answers.
JUST GIVE ME A BREAK!!
(No a KIT KAT)
Peace has left this mind
One flounders in every step
Looking for manna and finding Poison....
WHERE IS HELL!!!
Let me DIE n REST in Heat n Suffering....
LET ME LOSE all sense of truth, fairness, worth and all
LET ME FIND hell on EARTH ....
LEAVE ME ALL YOU FILTHY THOUGHTS OF NICEITY...
ruin all
ruin one
ruin life n death ... n love
LOVE = DEATH
Both are equally distant in our mind, and the matter of fact is both are very near to us withut us realising it....
F@#$ Philosophy!!!!!
qwertyuil;dfgbnmtryukiuilkbnm,ujnkiljjlolorety437820evjckxlc,cdwhy4p2op9ijbdfqgbndckwejb2qgfbn3jmn2qlfdcmn
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
On the ocassion of Molly's Engagement
DEAR Dhoort,
Bhoot has threatened me with dire consequences if I don't do this right away. So, Here goes...
They say God doesn't take away things from you to punish you but to empty your hands to give you some gift (precious!!) to hold.
No other could have made me feel the truth of these words other than you Molly...
sometimes I wondered why things were the way they were.. and today I know that it is because they are just meant to be that way...
Enough of philosophysing, blame it on my emotional self...I am extremely upset for having missed your(Dhoort n Bhoot) engagemnet and not having been able to seee you both.
But one thing's for sure ... I wish you from the bottm of my heart... the best wishes you can wish for yourself. May you always find love whereever you go and may there be always smiles, rainbows, love and happiness everywhere, everytime....
There is nothing in this world better than finding LOVE... and I cannot think of any two people who deserve to be more happy than you (I mean you too, Bhoot(ni)!!)
Now that you have found each other.... don't forget us... 'lil (Middle Class ;-)) people who cannot imagine a day in office without you.....(Bhootni)
May you open a great big fiirm soon (Dhoot!!! please help) where you need HR's and Marketing people....
(aside) she's making me write this!!! "With her nautanki you can always start wedding management !!"
LOVE and Best (est) of wishes for d Queen of our office ... now the queen of your heart and well for being her KING.. you deserve accolades too.... ;-)
BE HAPPY ALWAYS!!!!
GOD BLESS YOU BOTH!!!
Read Dhoort as Avinash
Raed Bhoot as Molly.
Bhoot has threatened me with dire consequences if I don't do this right away. So, Here goes...
They say God doesn't take away things from you to punish you but to empty your hands to give you some gift (precious!!) to hold.
No other could have made me feel the truth of these words other than you Molly...
sometimes I wondered why things were the way they were.. and today I know that it is because they are just meant to be that way...
Enough of philosophysing, blame it on my emotional self...I am extremely upset for having missed your(Dhoort n Bhoot) engagemnet and not having been able to seee you both.
But one thing's for sure ... I wish you from the bottm of my heart... the best wishes you can wish for yourself. May you always find love whereever you go and may there be always smiles, rainbows, love and happiness everywhere, everytime....
There is nothing in this world better than finding LOVE... and I cannot think of any two people who deserve to be more happy than you (I mean you too, Bhoot(ni)!!)
Now that you have found each other.... don't forget us... 'lil (Middle Class ;-)) people who cannot imagine a day in office without you.....(Bhootni)
May you open a great big fiirm soon (Dhoot!!! please help) where you need HR's and Marketing people....
(aside) she's making me write this!!! "With her nautanki you can always start wedding management !!"
LOVE and Best (est) of wishes for d Queen of our office ... now the queen of your heart and well for being her KING.. you deserve accolades too.... ;-)
BE HAPPY ALWAYS!!!!
GOD BLESS YOU BOTH!!!
Read Dhoort as Avinash
Raed Bhoot as Molly.
empty hands!
They say that when you least expect it Life happens to you, and in a not so subtle way. Although it does have a creepy crawly way to come up from behind us when we are not looking. There is now ay to know how it overtakes us. Sometimes, we dream and live in that world of dreams for such along time that we fail to face reality when it stares at us in our face. And then we crib how we never saw what happened all of a sudden one fine day.
It is true dear friend that when you think that is all is lost there is still a glimmering hope of something nicer. One day my friend told me, GOD does not empty your hands because he wants to punish you, but he wants to empty your hands to fill them with something better, something nicer.
Look for the silver lining in the darkest of cloud and you will find that life is not so unfair as it seems at first glance.
It is true dear friend that when you think that is all is lost there is still a glimmering hope of something nicer. One day my friend told me, GOD does not empty your hands because he wants to punish you, but he wants to empty your hands to fill them with something better, something nicer.
Look for the silver lining in the darkest of cloud and you will find that life is not so unfair as it seems at first glance.
Monday, April 16, 2007
enough!
It is quite enough, and I have had enough of this dawdling business. If people can get so confused and ridiculously insensitive then I wash my hands of all this.
How can a person having asked a person out ... completely ignore them and keep a straight face?
It is unimaginable to me.. such lack of consideration for other people's feeling is sad and frightening.
I wish people stop being so nasty and un-emotional ... and hurtful, even thought they do not realise that their behavior is hurting others, the least they can do is to read the signs and be a lil more thoughtful.
Anyway, what's the point of wondering!!
People do not care!!!!
How can a person having asked a person out ... completely ignore them and keep a straight face?
It is unimaginable to me.. such lack of consideration for other people's feeling is sad and frightening.
I wish people stop being so nasty and un-emotional ... and hurtful, even thought they do not realise that their behavior is hurting others, the least they can do is to read the signs and be a lil more thoughtful.
Anyway, what's the point of wondering!!
People do not care!!!!
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Is it .. ?
It is when reality hits you in your face that you realize how you had been dreaming all this while. Love they say cannot be found, it finds you, someday when you least expect it. Out on the street as you pass by couples holding hands, you find a stray smile streaking your lips and some where inside your heart, in that corner which you don’t visit often, a sad thought comes knocking. Sometimes it whispers at night, the loneliness, that you try to forget wrapped in the warm folds of a quilt.
A lot of times like the clay balls we throw away we keep aside a precious ball as a gift of life, never exploring it, never feeling that it can be a gift for us. And then all of sudden like the brilliant sunrise from the East, someone walks into your life and you are left blinded by the glow, and almost half scared you close your eyes, you hide away, left speechless with awe, wonder and fear.
Then in a moment, just like all other things in life, you feel a sense of bonding, a longing like despair, like something within you earns to find an outlet. And all you want is to move close and feel what you can at the ends of your finger tips, and you want to discover the tingle that spreads each time you touch, arbitrarily you meander through streets you know and don’t, re-writing memories.
In the very moment of togetherness, the words drown behind formality, fear and expectations, then in expectation of something strange, wonderful, a miracle, a sign to show that this is it. You are left walking back into your room, and as you get drenched in the shower you smile, not knowing why, not knowing how, someone probably just knocked on your heart’s door….. And you dream, sometimes letting half smiles caress your lips, and wondering where all this is leading to……
May be dreams do come true…
Especially when you least expect them to….
“To love is human …
But
To be loved Divine!”
A lot of times like the clay balls we throw away we keep aside a precious ball as a gift of life, never exploring it, never feeling that it can be a gift for us. And then all of sudden like the brilliant sunrise from the East, someone walks into your life and you are left blinded by the glow, and almost half scared you close your eyes, you hide away, left speechless with awe, wonder and fear.
Then in a moment, just like all other things in life, you feel a sense of bonding, a longing like despair, like something within you earns to find an outlet. And all you want is to move close and feel what you can at the ends of your finger tips, and you want to discover the tingle that spreads each time you touch, arbitrarily you meander through streets you know and don’t, re-writing memories.
In the very moment of togetherness, the words drown behind formality, fear and expectations, then in expectation of something strange, wonderful, a miracle, a sign to show that this is it. You are left walking back into your room, and as you get drenched in the shower you smile, not knowing why, not knowing how, someone probably just knocked on your heart’s door….. And you dream, sometimes letting half smiles caress your lips, and wondering where all this is leading to……
May be dreams do come true…
Especially when you least expect them to….
“To love is human …
But
To be loved Divine!”
Friday, March 30, 2007
one of those days
I am not sure...
yes, it's been such a long time, i have just forgotten how to trust wat my heart says.
it is so difficult to think or imagine or hope. thats such a terrible thing to say, have i lost all my hopes?
wat is killing me is the conflict, and i have those in large amounts all the time...
never having thought something can be wanted or desired, because it was too gud to be true, and suddenly being made to stand under a floodlit stage and expected to respond...
i am completely blinded....
perhaps by my own inability to respond, or by my lack of enthusiam, may be i hv bcme boring...???
may be i have grown up..???
may be i have lost dat tuch??????????????
oh !! its so frustrating not to knw which way to go...!
i have always followed my heart but i am scared, wat if i am wrong.. i dont wana mark one mre hit for the board.
well my experience is nt worth mentioning, i hv a 1 and half experience wid love, n i have foolishly refused to be in love wid anyone for years now fearing myself....
scared that i may hurt people...
as if the criticism dat i received had completely broken my faith in being a gud person, n a person who cud make pple happy.. yes thats it, i think i have stopped believing tht i cn make pple happy!!!!!!!!
may be dats wat it is.. may dats y i am so scared...
i wish i cud say .... dat i like u,
or dat i really wud like it if we got together ..
it wud a dream like experience fr me.. but i am afraid to say the words..
fearing that this itself is a dream taht may break if i speak out....
help me!
yes, it's been such a long time, i have just forgotten how to trust wat my heart says.
it is so difficult to think or imagine or hope. thats such a terrible thing to say, have i lost all my hopes?
wat is killing me is the conflict, and i have those in large amounts all the time...
never having thought something can be wanted or desired, because it was too gud to be true, and suddenly being made to stand under a floodlit stage and expected to respond...
i am completely blinded....
perhaps by my own inability to respond, or by my lack of enthusiam, may be i hv bcme boring...???
may be i have grown up..???
may be i have lost dat tuch??????????????
oh !! its so frustrating not to knw which way to go...!
i have always followed my heart but i am scared, wat if i am wrong.. i dont wana mark one mre hit for the board.
well my experience is nt worth mentioning, i hv a 1 and half experience wid love, n i have foolishly refused to be in love wid anyone for years now fearing myself....
scared that i may hurt people...
as if the criticism dat i received had completely broken my faith in being a gud person, n a person who cud make pple happy.. yes thats it, i think i have stopped believing tht i cn make pple happy!!!!!!!!
may be dats wat it is.. may dats y i am so scared...
i wish i cud say .... dat i like u,
or dat i really wud like it if we got together ..
it wud a dream like experience fr me.. but i am afraid to say the words..
fearing that this itself is a dream taht may break if i speak out....
help me!
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
today on 27th jan 07
I don't wana close my eyes, I just don't wana miss a thing ....
Wanting all and more ..
is that a crime??
well, may be so when d person on the other side is nt interested in returning the favour. all one wants is to spend some quality time.
is it strange to desire this little or is it strange to ask for so much but who decides that it is too much???
i don't knw and i am nt sure sometimes, people make me feel as if i ask for too much and sometimes i feel myself asking for too much from them, but i want people to ask what they want from me, and i am ready to make that attempt to return wat they want!
may be i am thinking too much today.
but it does hurt when for no fault of mine i am abused, why am i abused? is it my fault that u have changed i didnt ask u to change into someone who doesn't care or may be u have always been this only hidden it behind a facade, and now that it is out in the open it is hard to accept!! may be i have always known that this side existed and may be now that it is in front of me i am turning a blind eye to it!
i dont knw ...
too may may be's to answer......
what shud i pursue ???
happiness
pleasure
dignity
friendship
love
how do i prioritize ?????
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