hey

i am learning how to drive, and i love driving!!

starting anew

Thu 12/1/2005 6:55 PM

i have been selected in Pantaloons retail india ltd. and i am happy! old news! but today after a long time i have started typing my journal. why had i taken a long break? was it forced or brought over by the circumstances?i will answer my own questions one by one. strangely ironic, because there has been many more times when i have failed to answer my own queries and have been left depressed.but this is different, yes it it.after my institute's classes resumed i was unable to go online with the same regularity perhaps because of the tasks burdening me and inaccessibility of the net.but after a while i was too lazy to bother writing anything, not even into my very favorite diary. i was so fatigued that i seemed to have lost all interest to post anything. even write about all the things that were happening.i will not spend time here (as my friend says) yapping about all the events i have not talked about before, they are as obvious, too many to be really named one by one.the most recent development that has happened is my getting a job. this was a time of extreme stress and tension. the last 3 weeks have been almost as bad as time spent in hell. although i cannot vouch whether they can really be compared.i can vouch for one thing that the last couple of months prior to this have been extremely difficult for me, on the personal front. i was too stressed out because of my father's ill health, topping it off with my atrociously poor results in the annual examination ended May 2005. together with ill-behavior from the D in my life, i have decided to re-christen him as DEVIL. that's exactly what he is!anyway let me not waste my breath over a lost cause.after a long time now, after my summer training, i can truely say that i am happy, on the personal level (on the emotional and mental level i am at peace). having got a job has had a boosting effect on my sagging self-image.at this point of time i am relived on one level, but there is still concern for my other classmates who have not been placed. they have been absolute darlings for me, and i really want to stand beside them now and boost their morale running low, if i can with my words and actions as they have done for me.
before moving on i want to say, I COULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT, CARE, WARMTH, LOVE AND WORDS OF DEAR FRIENDS OF MBA(DAY) '04-'06.
something has changed over the past few months, i just realized how much update i really have to give to my blogs... but let us not become overtly tensed, i think i will manage fine.first things first... Rick has not left our dear ole city for greener pastures up north, and i was rather happy to hear that. and the reason i am back at typing these words is him. he had been cheking my blogs and found them empty of any updates. the thot that sme1 was chking on my blogs made me feel the need to write again. i was afraid at one point that i hd completely lost my creativity but thank heavens i am still as good at innane talk as i have been.although i hven't been in tuch wid Rick too much, obviously hurt a bit coz my idea of friends is people who always think of me, call me, stay in tuch. all the actions on their part as i am truely lazy. perhaps i was rather wrong in my dealing wid Rick. i either am too friendly or too aloof... hell, dealing wid Librans is one difficult job ;-)
a news update: i had tried without success to severe all relations wid D and well now i am again not on speaking terms wid him. although did recieve a message today itself and shot off a couple of letters and cards.during the puja he was in delhi and that had hurt me a lot and things have been on the downswing ever since. even before that there were small minor tiffs, another newsflash, he has broken up wid his gf, whatever!!anyway, now i am tredding my gorunds rather carefully as i am a lil tired of being hurt so many times for no fault of mine. if someone doesn't need me, i do not need that person either.
the other hand of the situation is, i have come close to my ex-bf. he has been a good support trying his best to give me the right kind of advice regarding D. but honestly i feel the relation wid D has gone beyond any advice.but my Ex has been a good friend and i hope i can stand by him when he needs a helping hand. it takes a lot to forgive and forget things as horrible as we have said to each other. perhaps it was this maturity that we lacked.let me not give the entire credit ot my ex, i was the one who offered the maple leaf for peace, and well we both gave it a shot, him a lil less convinced than i that this wud work but finally here we are where i am helping him wid certain relevant papers for his exam starting 12th of this mnth.i have also come close to a group of friends in class and more importantly have been able to see so much of the rest of the classmates that i am astonished that i did not see how lucky i had been to have ended up with these people.i really like my batch!managed to lay my hands upon Fossils 1 and 2. and it is great listening to their music, must thank Rick again for bringing in three new friends... AB fossils fan, Indro and Tatsat.they are kind of a chain reaction of having posted a message on the Fossils website. nice bunch of young guys, still in their graduation reminding me of all those silly things we used to do when we were there not so long ago.attempted to put things right wid Ms Sam and a complete failure... and i hate her, a bad fall out of that is Ms Kari, terrible! it is perhaps all this that nailed the final nail in the coffin of my attraction / love / need for D.
in the meantime visited bangalore for an interview met my childhood friend popla and leoraj! now i again remember hw irritating he really was! thank god i am not wid him.another reason for mental peace coming my way, atlast managed to blurt it out to friends... yes my fark secret of many years and you know what nothing bad happened, they took it so well and it was so great to be finally relived of it...
Raghu my Udiscover friend has been amazing, in tuch with him thru lettres, yes, letters written on paper with ink... have written tremendously intersting letters over the past few mnths and i am actually regretting not photocopying them.
well taking a deserved break! catch u later! with more of all that you have missed!!

Gone are the days........but not the memories

Gone are the daysWhen the school reopened in June,And we settled in our new desks and benches. Gone are the daysWhen we queued up in book depot,And got our new books and notes. Gone are the daysWhen we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yetManaged to line up daily for the morning prayers. Gone are the daysWhen we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals,And returned to the classrooms drenched in sweat. Gone are the daysWhen we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds. Gone are the daysWhen a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table, Was awaited moreeagerly than the monsoons. Gone are the daysOf fights but no conspiracies,Of Competitions but seldom jealousy. Gone are the daysWhen we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks. Gone are the daysWhen few rushed at 5:30 to"Conquer" window seats in our School bus. Gone are the daysOf Sports Day, and the annual School Day,And the one-month long preparations for them. Gone are the daysOf the stressful Quarterly, Half Yearly and Annual Exams,And the most enjoyed holidays after them.Gone are the daysWe learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, we lost, We laughed, we cried,we fought, we thought.Gone are the daysWith so much fun in them, so many friends,So much experience, all this and more.Gone are the daysBut not the memories, which will beLingering in our hearts for ever and ever andEver and ever and Ever.I hope you went back to your Golden Old days..........For a while..........as I DID!!Didnt u????

A HUGE THANK YOU!

hi all,

so i am finally into a company and honestly have never been this happy abt anything as far as i cn remember. although all our placemnts are nt yet over i am keeping my fingers crossed for them and i know they will be placed very soon, so best of luck u guys.

and for all those who hve been placed till date.. congratulations to all of u (once more if i have already wished u) ! way to go guys, u r rocking!

here's hoping the entire class of 2004-06 rocks soon.

but this is a mail meant more from personal angle.

i want to thank everyone in the class for their support, warmth, words, deeds, wishes, prayers and all. i couldn't have done it without you guys!!

i want to mention some of them, irrespective of whether i mention u here or not i want u to know that ur presence has meant the world to me........

soumen -- u r the man dude! i mean i don't think any of this would be happening without u. thank u for 'thinking about it', and keeping a small personal request i made to u.the trip to bangalore deserves spcl mention u were absolutely adorable, i wud have never nown wat a wonderful human being u r had i nt gone on that trip. i love u! ;-)

subodh -- well for all of ur leg pulling i have jus one answer, u need to shift companies jus give me a buzz... seriously, i don't who else has been more concerned abt which company i sud sit for more than me, but if there was 1 person i had to pick it wud be u. thanx for standing up for me in frnt of bcb. thanks!

ipsita -- umm! wat can a i say, warm smiles and silence speaks volumes more than words... thank u for sittin beside me.... its meant the world.

paromita -- a card wud hve been more appropriate but thanx for praying for me, thanks for being the stability i sometimes lack.... best of luck dear i know u will make it! for being the presence in ur silence. i appreciate our talks!

priyasha -- ok for worrying for everyone! u did enuff of that to make up for us. jokes apart, u gave me a lot of perspective... and no i will not murder ur boyfriend.

bhaskar -- what words shud describe the incorrigable one! constantly at my ears, ur confidence in me made me walk thru those interviews with the attitude which i nw wud hve made u proud.since i have declared i will nt kill u.. so here's another confession of sorts..... thnx for expecting so much frm me.. i mean that! love u (hope priyasha's not reading too much into that!)

jayeta -- thanks for ur harry potter's darling i think they have kept me sane.and ur pep talks worked magic. sreemoyee -- for mothering me thru the bangalore trip. and ur clasps and well ur hairdo advice.

moumita -- for giving me the confidence when i saw u sitting with ur head held high and flashing ur charming smile even after rejections.. best of luck!

ishita-- well, for being my neighbour and being happy when i didnt make it to tata ryerson.

debjani -- for running around on 15th and for being part of my exclusive club ;-)

pallav -- well the train journey has been the best time of my life, and i know cudn't have been so good widout u.. .. for always smiling, thank you.

shudho -- for craking me up wid ur sense of humour! lol!

sayantan -- u r out of this world, if india team needs some1 to pep them up before a match u get the job hands down..... u know i cudn't have done it widout u.

anirban (mophead) -- for all the judgments i have passsed on u, i forgot to add that u r one hell of a interviewer, today's workout on the interview helped me immensely! thanks for making me go thru the paces.... swear it helped like hell! someones very lucky too inspite of what i said to u before abt u being a monkey!

sipu -- one word "adorable" and i absolutely love u.

shibu -- for making me a part of his family ;-) love u dear!

and a few surprise entries... or are they?

pushpal, sushanto for ur minimizations, that was fun...

ashish for being irritating! abusing u is therapeutic! accolades for u.

neelu for putting wid all the innuendo and ironies i play with...

ajay for making me smile even when pulling my leg.

shamik for ur company thru the gd's and harrowing waits for telling me to chill out and being angry for me on tata ryerson day.

himangshu for smiling always.....

jaideep for his gruff yet honest wishes.

anirban mishra for his incessant questions.

ambrish for being him.

anirban bose for asking me after each gd whenther he was good.

and all those i am forgetting right nw..... a big thank you!

honestly, couldn't have done without you all..........

my best wishes to u all and i love u all!

priyanka!

MBA(DAY) 2004-06 BATCH WILL ROCK!

newsflash!

yipee!!!!!!

I have job, after the gruelling sessions and nail bilting finishes, i finally have a job and oh! my god the feeling is incredible, i am so happy i don't have words to describe it.

i am now a proud employee of

PANTALOONS RETAIL (INDIA) LIMITED.

i want to say that i couldn't ave done it without my friends at the institute and so many others who i am not mentoning here as i try and finish this post.

i will write in more later, till then.....

three cheers!!!!

-- pranks --

does this touch you?

While life is a journey in itself with many different 'stop's that come in between (by stop i mean people we meet, our achievements and failures) before you reach the destination.... sometimes i feel that some 'stop's themselves become life!!!

this what i thought after i read this story..... while every small thing can teach everything, you can as well learn nothing from big things... what say??

won't bore u more... jus go thru the story pasted below... and does that touch you???!?!?

The Perfume...

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day ofthe school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers shelooked at her students and said she loved them all the same. Howeverthat was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in theseat was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that hedid not play well with the other children, that his clothes weremessy, and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddycould be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delightin marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and thenputting a big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs.Thompson taught, she was required to review each student past recordsand she put Teddy's off until the last. However when she reviewed hisfile, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with aready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners. He is ajoy to be around."

His second grade teacher wrote Teddy is an excellent student, wellliked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has aterminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "Teddy's mother's death has been hardon him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show muchinterest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps are nottaken."

His fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't showmuch interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and hesometimes sleeps in class."

By now Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself.She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents,wrapped beautifully in bright ribbons and paper, except for Teddy's,whose present was clumsy and wrapped in heavy brown paper, the hewould have got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to openit in the middle of the other presents.

Some of the children started to laugh when she found the rhinestonebracelet with some of the stones missing and a bottle of perfume thatwas only one quarter full. But she stifled the children's laughterwhen she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, anddabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed onafter school that day just long to say, " Mrs. Thompson, today yousmelled just like my mom used to." After the children left, she criedfor at long time

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing, and arithmetic.Instead she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particularattention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to comealive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By theend of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children inclass. And, despite her lie that she loved all the children the same,Teddy became one of her "pets".

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, tellingher that she was still the best teacher he had ever had in his life.

Six years went by before she got another letter from Teddy. He thenwrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and shewas still the best teacher he ever had in is whole life.

Four years after that she received another note saying that whilethings had been tough at times, he still stayed in school, had stuckwith it, and would soon graduate with the highest honors. He assuredMrs. Thompson that she was still the best and most favorite teacherhe ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time heexplained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go alittle further. The letter explained that she was still the best andmost favourite teacher he ever had in his whole life. But now thename was little longer ... the letter was signed, Theodore F.Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end here. There was yet another letter thatspring. Teddy said the he met this girl who was going to marry.

He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and hewas wondering if Mrs. Thompson would agree to sit at the wedding inthe place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what, she wore that bracelet- the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she alsoremembered to wear the perfume that Teddy's mother wore on the lastChristmas they spent together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson'sear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so muchfor making me feel important and showing me that I could make adifference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back, "Teddy, youhave it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make adifference. I didn't know how to teach till I met you."

You could have a Teddy standing in front of you and yet not realize it . . .

Warm someone's heart today. Just try to make a difference in someone's lifetoday, tomorrow.. Just do it. Random acts of kindness I think they call it . .

KBC 2

Hi Frnz,
6 * 100 * 10 * 20 * 20 = 240000024 lakhs in 20minutes..cue is KBC 2!Any guesses ??6(Rs/SMS) * 100(entries) * 10( cities ) * 20 (districts ) * 20(states ) =6 * 400000(people trying for the 2 lakhs cash price )Imagine what if 1000 entries try out from 100 cities ??The figure simply grows by 2 more zeores and yields a whooping 24Crores!!And it does not stops there... 1000 entries from 100 towns is a very smallnumber .. in practice it could be another multiple of 100 or worst case amultiple of 1000 on an average..In that case it is 24 * 100 crores earnings in just 20 minutes on everyepisode!And the price money :-)) mere 2 CRORE ( and from whose pocket;-) )Smart Buisness by Sidharth Basu!And the best part of this calculation is just the SMS earning!What about the Ad money ??A rough annual profit calculation goes like this..2400 * (5 * 4)(episodes/month) * 12= 576000 croresLet even 50% get dissolved in taxes and other payments, still you will beleft with ( which includes even the meagre 480 crores of pricemoney..i.e.,if every episode bags 2 crore prize!! )2,88,000 Crores profit ( only from SMS !!!! )

musing ......

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."

- W.M.Lewis

got it wrong mister!

On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against thewall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him,How much do you earn?"
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question,he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2 000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $ 6000.00 cashAnd gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people forworking, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3months'salary,now GET OUT and don't come back".
Noticing a Few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And thatapplies for everybody in this company".
He approached one of the onlookersand asked him, "Who 's the young man that I just fired ?"

To which an amazing reply came of,

"He was the pizza delivery man, Sir!"

thought again

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines." ~Robert Schuller

so true!

but can we always???

Essential arts

The art of navigating the road of life is not to be a victim of what happens to you; but rather to be an architect of the road and making things happen.

The art of problem-solving lies in your attitude and approach to the problem; think positively, often the problem lies in how we look at things.

The art of positive thinking is to have a positive image of yourself not by proclaiming your goodness in words but proclaim your goodness in deeds.

The art of being you-nique is not in how you appear but rather in letting what you do and how you do it be a reflection of what you are.You are the only "you" that there is; no one can think with your mind, speak with your voice and smile with your face, cry with your tears or act with your body but you. So be the best "you" that you can be.As you choose good, decent and pleasant people to associate with, make yourself deserving of those associations. (Would you befriend "you" if you were someone else?)

The art of speaking is not in the volume of words or sound but rather in the wisdom of the content. (Do not say all that you think and think carefully of what you say).

The art of criticism lies not in succeeding to find faults, but in finding a means whereby the fault is realized and corrected.

The art of disagreement is not in being hostile and adamant but in being able to disagree without being disagreeable.

The art of joyfulness is not only being happy yourself but in increasing that joy by bringing happiness to the lives of others.

The art of inspiring is to uplift others by suggestion and demonstration rather than by injunction and dictation.

The art of social living is not to appear better than others but in bringing out the best in yourself and facilitate bringing out the best of others.

The art of solitude is not only in occupying yourself when you are alone but in enjoying the company of the one you are alone with.

The art of personality is to commit yourself to being of benefit to the world and occupy yourself with so much striving to improve yourself that you have less time to criticize others.

Lovely Poem

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,A song is no song 'til you sing it,
And love in your heartWasn't put there to stay -
Love isn't love'Til you give it away.


- Oscar Hammerstein

thought crossed my mind 1

How true

When the time comes for you to give your heart to someone make sure that u select someone who will never break your heart coz broken hearts have no spare parts.

But how can you guarantee that?

terrible news

My results are finally coming out and i have a feeling they aren't going to be that great!
it is ofcourse, better not mentioned that the results have been comng out since last monday, however, i don't know, i am again not sure, they may be out tomorrow or on monday.
worse, i am probably going to mumbai the next friday, and with bad results the scene at home will not be so great!!
here's hopng for the best!

useful link

this great webpage on stopping comment spam that you might find usefull. If you do could you please link to me so everyone will know.
http://www.keytosuccess.info/comment-spam.html

a thought!!

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.
I don't believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.


GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
1893

9:49 PM 9/12/05

so here i sit down to write something. what exactly i am not too sure, after all there must be something i want to write, no, actually it is not a 'must' but a 'have'. all of a sudden i feel as if i have to write something, anything. i am listening one of my favorite numbers from a bangla band FOSSILS, called Hasnuhanah. it is an amazing song, and when i had heard it the first time, which was a long time ago, i was touched by the essential truth that i found hidden in those lines. but today when i have the enitire CD and have heard all the songs i must confess i have quite a few favorites. but somehow it is strange that when i had searched for it high and low, i had failed to locate it, and now that i least expected it, here it lies in my hand.is this then destiny?ahh!sometimes i wonder, really wonder why certain things happen at specific times, are they thus destined to happen or is there something else. may be i always think too much. i am not a huge rock fan yet, i happen to meet the guy who is crazy about such music and from there came the first CD which was the band's second release, and now all of a sudden having left a mere message at the band's website, i end up meeting a fossils fan who gives me their first release. i cannot finish counting how many times i have already heard this CD ever since i lay hands upon it last fri. i simply love this stuff. it is almost addictive. after all to my own astonishment, i have been playing it every morning before leaving for my institute, and rocking away when i return. i have to consciously stop myself from turning my PC on and start palying this CD. it is such an addiction!strangely, i have their second CD yet i do not play it that often and nor did i when it was the only one i owned. but yes initially i did paly it a lot during my exam breaks and rocked on in breaks. but this is completely unprecedented, i just do not like listening to any other music at all.well that write up got a nice direction. but now i am lost again.these days i get confused, i am writing in the outlook express although this hardly a mail, when i was thinking whom to write to, i drew a blank. first i thought of D and then Rick, but i decided one wouldn't answer and was a lost case in appreciating good letters and the other, i am assuming is very busy and hence not to be disturbed.i sent three letters today.1. to sam apologizing, and asking her to let our friendship have another chance. also a birthday wish.2. to raghu, a much awaited letter, one that was supposed to be posted a week back, lazy me!3. to tanisha, after i received a fantastic surprise, two very sweet cards.
so now whom to write and what to write..a bit of lyrics...." i had so much to tell you,but now it seems everything is overand there is nothing more left to tell you."Nice!!

HELLO ALL

It has been a long time since i have writtten in, and over the last few days life has been full of turmoil, as if it isn't always!!
i watched a very nice and thought provoking movie IQBAL. and also had a back to back Harry Potter three movie marathon. it was great, more on that later...
till next time.. keep smiling!!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Scientists at the Rocket launching station in Thumba, were in the habit of working for nearly 12 to 18 hours a day. There were about Seventy such scientists working on a project. All the scientists were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job. One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm. His boss replied - O K, , You are permitted to leave the office early today. The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion.The time was 8.30 p.m Suddenly he remembered of the promise he had given to his children. He looked for his boss,,He was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left for home.Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children.He reached home. Children were not there.His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him. His wife asked him - Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry. The man replied - If you would like to have coffee, i too will have but what about Children???Wife replied- You don't know - Your manager came at 5 15 p.m and has taken the children to the exhibition. What had really happened was The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 p.m. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibitionThe boss does not have to do it everytime. But once it is done, loyalty is established. That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss eventhough the stress was tremendous. By the way , can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was???????? He was A P J Abdul Kalam.

4:18 PM 9/3/05

starting off this post with a 'hats off' to all those who choose and make a difference to pople's lives.i have been very lucky to have met xtremely cool and very very interesting people in my life. the trend continues after a bit of gap. here is wondering how and why i have been this lucky.i met Raghu, a hyderabadian, who has an amazing outlook towards life. it is the most obvious and logical way to deal with life and there has been a number of times when i have told myself to believe in it. yet, it has always been too difficult a way to lead life. but here was someone who not just said it but did it. actions do speak louder than words. i am not in a position to make a judgement call on whether he is happy, but yes at this point in life, not expecting anything from life seems a fairly good attitude to have.Raghu is a kind of a philosopher so to speak, yet not like philosophers in so many other ways. what he says may seem like a harsh path to follow, too difficult to tread, but if you can, there's nothing like it.he has been rather sweet, i liked his gesture.flowers, so temporary yet so brilliant, they bloom and spread color and fragrance, and melt away.may be our life is just like that.
another special person, needs to be mentioned, AB (fossils fan), so simple yet so confident. sometimes it makes me wonder whether, all that i cling to is not just a mere mirage of what this life should be, may be i am following the worng star, or may be it is a shooting star, that will only burn away, so shall i burn away.enough on my thoughts, here's a bit about the fossils fan, he is very talented, atleast i think he has a good voice to sing, he really ought to sing in a band if not solo, his voice sounds so amazing even without any instruments, that i have a feeling i would have been quite blown off my feet had i heard him sing.by the way, fossils is a bangla band, it plays a mix of blues, rock etc, with vernacular lyrics. i rather like them myself, happened to leave a message on their website guest book and from there i met AB. as i say what a Rocking coincidence, no. WHAT A ROCKING SERENDIPITY!!!!!
a lil news, Mr.D has been in touch wid me, head or tail of the story?? none, its a loop, a vicious one.He has broken up with his Pseudo -gf. as if i care!
I had a talk with Rick, after a long long time, as usual i wll repeat myself, there ought to be more people like him. and he thinks i shouldn't go encouraging MR. D to mope about life and love. well i guess i am already on the right track. i can't remember whose words have had such a profound and long lasting effect on me, apart from Rick's. I wonder, is it the Libran trait, or the mere association i feel with him, or may be he is right he has been where i am and so taking que from his experience is a smart thing to do.
Fossils ROCKS!and thanks, AB for the MUSIC!!
BEST OF LUCK to Rick !! See u down South!! ;-)

7:29 PM 8/27/05

I have been very bad, very lazy, and haven't bothered to check mails nor have i updated my blog. Such carelessness has no real excuse.Met Rick very recently, he is a bit upset coz i haven't attended a cultural program where he performed. Oh! before i forget i have been down with a bit of fever, and a lot of pain in my right knee. I am assuming it was coz of the extra fervour on the dance floor on the Fresher's dance. Anyway, apart from that i am very much involved in certain activities i have been ignoring for a really long time, i am hoping that things will go well.there may be jouney in the month of Oct, so let's see what comes out of it.I am thinking of going to South but the people involved aren't that great company but the one's up north are cool, more importantly, i feel south has many friend's but north more prospect!Let's see what comes out.I hope by tmrw this will go online!

8:32 AM 8/16/05

here's saying goodbye to the conceited fool. on 12 th of this month i ended all, severed all relations with this man. this is over. although it doesn't hurt any less now i know with time this too shall pass. and i also know this is not the end. there is a lot more to find, a lot more to discover.when sometimes we think we have reached the very end of the road and there is nowhere to go after this, we have only to keep walking towards that assumed end, and we will find that the road does stretch on, it was only a bend in the road that we had mistaken for the very end.three cheers to optimism, and silver linings in dark clouds!!!

9:39 PM 8/9/05

so today i write to myself and when i am done what i am to achieve is something i am unsure about but right at this point of time there is noone to talk to except you .

dear myself,
where do i begin this letter from? there is so much to tell you yet i am at a loss of words. today i know you are feeling lonely, and a depression brings your spirits down, but do not worry tomorrow is a new day and you will have things to be cheerful about.it is true you know, calling someone up in order to fill up the gaps in time with anything, even mindless banter is quite futile. you can run as hard as you may but you cannot hide, lonliness will grip your heart.i know you are feeling hurt because you find yourself all alone, but honey, don't you see that it is perhaps a lot better than sulking over some stupid , unworthy man, yet you yearn after the same forbidden fruit.will you never learn?in what hope was that call made, dear, where you really hoping that he would understand. even make an attempt to cheer you up. there is nothing in this world he cares about or the harsher truth he doesn't care about you, never has and never will and that is the sad yet true fact.please stop hurting yourself, show some courage and face your fears. breaking down like this will not get you anywhere, honestly sometimes your behavior borders on desperation. why do you feel this terrible need to talk to him?his silly banter about things you hardly care about is boring, and borders on heart wrenching when you are so busy day dreaming his words and actions for him. unfortunately life does not follow your day dream script and hence the dissapointments.in your dream he always calls back to ask what is worng with you, but in real life it doesn't work that way.so stop calling him, and stop being a fool and so damn weak!take care of yourself, and don't shed those tears. ( they are too precious to be wasted on that conceited bastard!!)
love you ..
XXX

9:29 AM 8/9/05

Scrips!

" was there ever in anyone's life span a point free in time, devoid of memory, a night when choice was anymore than the sum of all the choices made before."

and so i read in the news paper of the day a qoute that sparked my thoughts, and yet i type things meaningless, yet i am supposed to creative, and what creativity do i talk about , i have no clue as they say, since as far back i can remember i have been trying to think what i may have achieved if i had been a lil less laxy, that is however not the real question on my mind. the prodigal shall soon return to his own shelter, and i shall still remain imprisoned in my bower, why oh why can't i spread my wings and fly away from this cozy yet thorny prison. my mind awakes to a thousand memories of dreams dead and forgotten, of poems chiselled on the soul yearning to be set free, with short breathes and bursting into a run to reach the end of this walled garden, alas! i reach the very end, i see the very wall that holds me enfolded in its recceses, yet i do not see the exit, the sign is missing and so has the door closed, the portal to freedom has closed so many years ago that i cannot even hope to remember it open.
angels are amongst us. some hidden away from plain sight others burning bright in their own glory. yet when i search for one, i seem not to find them anywhere. the halo around their forheads are not always visible to the eyes, and hence sometimes i miss them, and it is only later that i come to realize that i have been in the presense of one (an angel) only when they have left.
thank you, Angels, for sprinkiling the light to lighten up my days.
i am perhaps simply losing my mind, if there was any to begin with, but hell! who cares, anyway!

10:17 PM 8/8/05

Today was a brand new start to a new session in Instt, which means we have our good old classroom back and the time table looks good not too inviting though.i have some classes, really speced out. i have only two days of full classes which is great.another good thing today was meeting the Junies, our very own legacy, ehh! nice people, and well, i had a good time chatting with them. my new baby HR co-ordinator, is extremely cute, with a black shirt and jeans he looked quite good, only if he was a lil taller and well i am not going to guess his age.as Ish says -5 to + infinity works for her, well, i am a tad bit unsure about the math.no further news of fellow libran, wonder what he is upto, and as far as D, he is as always immersed in family drama, the oaf!he had smething to discuss wid me today, what i have no clue about, and obviously i am not waiting for him to ring me, the old man must have forgotten it by now.what else can i update!umm, our junis are getting laptops which is only bugging me as i can see so much of promise in live updates to blogs, but hey, 'tis ok, i shall not be enmeshed in such mundane things.here's to poetic justice!for whom?me , ofcourse!
FYI: miss mr. Rick, man, he can make people laugh, wish there were more people like him.sigh!

5:15 PM 8/7/05

Hey, people, here is a qoute from an old fellow blogger, was going through his older posts at leisure, i was struck by an idea on this friendship day, a way to remember long lost friends.

"Become an obsever in your own life and life will cause you much less pain that way."
How true these words ring to me! I cannot imagine how and why these wonderful people have come and touched my life and they have enriched it so much so that I find words falling short to thank them.
Although this blog is more annonymous than others, I donot want to mention any names but yes, on this friendship day I want to remember a few people.

Dear Ari,
today when i read thru sme of ur older blogs there was a feeling of nostalgia and a related guilt at having used u so badly, i am sorry, if u could ever forgive me, i would be very happy, i knw smetimes we end up hurting pple widout knwing, but smehw i knw i shud have treated u better, u deserved a lot better than wat i was wid u, and more so coz u were so much like me and i am srry i never put myself in ur shoes to see and feel the hurt i was causing. i want u to knw, i knw, today because of circumstances i knw hw it is to feel refused and broken hearted. srry friend, i am soo soo srry!Happy Friendship Day!

Dear Rakesh,
tumhein shayad lage ki ye mail aise hi maine likh diya kiu ke mujhe aur kuch kam nahi tha. aaj subah tumhara mesage mila, aur itne friends me se tumhein friendship day yaad raha, ya phir ye bhi keh sakte hai ke mujhe laga ke tumnein jo mujhe yaad kiya ussme mujhe aisa mahsus hua ke shayad tum mujhe apna dost samajhte ho. tumhare sath shayad maine bohot hi bura bartav kiya tha, pata nahi aaj lagta hai, tab mera deemag shayad ghass charne gaya tha, yaa pata nahi, shayad mei hamesha se hi thora disbalanced hu. aaj maine socha shayad tumko sorry kehna thik hoga, bohot kuch aisa hum karte hai jo humein nahi karna chahiye, par kabhi hum galti karte hai. aaj kuch samajh mei aya hai, jo pehle ata to shayad tumari dosti mei khoti nahi.i am srry! ho sake to mujhe maaph karna.Happy Friendship Day!

dear Garfy,
i have been very mean, haven't i? no mails , no messages, i guess i was too imvolved in a lost game, i just wish i had the sense to see how far we have drifted apart, please get in touch wid me, i miss u, thanks so much for remembering me. although i haven't been so good to u.Happy Friendship Day.

Dear Kari,
hey gal, i don't knw why i miss JU so much? smetimes i feel as if it is the frnds that i miss most, then i try and think of one person i miss the most and it always turns out to be u, after all i guess we driftd apart from a point where u were my best friend in JU, and that was a lot my fault i feel. so, on this friendship day i wana say this from the bottom of my heart, i wish Kari we can be friends. it wud mean a lot to me.HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!Love from the bottom of my Butt, a bigger place than my heart ;-)

Dear ipsita,
u surprised to see my mail in ur inbox? i guess not, but i remembered last year when i had given u a friendship day band, and then i had thot we wud be good frnds, things went wrong and we have moved away from each other, maybe it is a lil too late to say this but still....i am sorry. i hope we can still be friends.Happy Friendship Day!

Dear Dwaipayan,
hi, i am sure ur nt surprised to see a mail from me, but why i am writing this mail has a different reason frm the usual. i am writing a mail to all those pple who i miss a lot, and i wish i could change the way things have happened before but i don't have the powers to.but i can always try and make a lil difference.i wish we cud have been best friends, u wud have been a good best friend.u have been a good friend, thanx.wish u a Happy Friendship Day!

Dear Sam,
like all those other mails, this unfortunately will nt reach u, as i am nt sure whether u chk ur mails nw a days, but i don't knw may be i cn try, a lil bit this time. for i knw last time i didn't try hard enuf.i miss u. 5 years is a long time to have a best friend and i jus dont think i can live widout ur friendship, i may survive which i am doing, but i cannot help but remember the small little things we did and all the difference u made to my life. i wish we were still friends.if u can and want to be friends, i wish u wud call me.i will wait for ur call.u r my only true best friend!Happy Friendship Day!

dearest Popla,
smetimes i have kept a silence that has stretched for months on end, smetimes we haven't seen each othr for ages yet, i knw that when we meet, we are still the same, our friendship grows more and more everyday, thank u for being a wonderful friend!Happy Friendship Day!

dear Ishita,
i guess this wud surprise u, but i am glad i shifted here, if i hadn't i wud have nvr found a friend like u.it may be so that we may nvr have what we want so bad but i have a feeling we will definitely have a lot more than we have imagined.don't lose hope, life's too short and elusive to run after forgotten dreams, dream something new and fascinating tonite!Happy Friendship Day!

Last but not the least this one is for u, fellow libran.

My dear Fellow libran,
"those who bring sunshine into lives of others cannot keep it from themselves"
thank you, for all that u have said and done, thank you for showing me the way, thank you for showing me TC3 and Sabrina, thank you for showing me that i could change, thank you for the smiles and tears.i hope u always smile!!best wishes!Happy Friendship Day!

Follow Your Dreams

There were once 2 brothers who lived on the 80th floor of a tall building.On coming home one day, they realized to their dismay that the lifts were not working and that they have to climb the stairs home.After struggling to the 20th level, panting and tired, they decided to abandon their bags and come back for them the next day. They left their bags then and climbed onWhen they have struggled to the 40th level by this time they had gone sufficiently mad and irritated. The younger brother started to grumble and both of them began to quarrel. They continued to climb the flights of steps, quarreling all the way to the 60th floor. They then realized that they have only 20 levels more to climb and decided to stop quarreling and continue climbing in peace. They silently climbed on and reached their home at long last.Each stood calmly before the door and waited for the other to open the door. And they realized that the key was in their bags which was left on the 20th floor.........
This story is a reflection on our life and times.All of us climb the tall building called life....some till all the 80 floors and some less.Many of us climb under the expectations of our companion. Time to time these are our friends and parents till the 20th floor, then our spouse and our dear ones till the next level of the building. We seldom get to do the things that we really like and love and areunder so much pressure and stress so that by the age of 20, we get tired and decided to dump this load. Being free of the stress and pressure, we work enthusiastically and dream ambitious wishes. But by the time we reach 40 years old, we start to lose our vision and dreams. We began to feel unsatisfied and start to complain and criticize.We live life as a misery as we are never satisfied. Reaching 60, we realize that we have little left for complaining anymore, and we began to walk the final episode in peace and calmness. We think that there is nothing left to disappoint us, only to realize thatwe could not rest in peace because we have an unfulfilled dream...a dream we abandon 60 years ago.
So what's your dream.....?
Know your dreams and follow it so that you will not live with regrets.
Accept yourself...
ieve in yourself...
Like yourself...

7:35 PM 8/5/05

I have been wondering about how sometimes our choices are not so right and once made we have no way of changing it.I keep asking myself the question over and over again whether I was right in not attempting further communications with my best friend Sam!? At times I feel a horrible sense of guilt clotting inside my throat. Was I simply waiting for a chance to get rid of her? The truth is I had started feeling irritated with her, and my normal impatience had given way to nasty mean words against her, although not in front of her. But how long would it have been before I started saying things on her face? I am afraid that I have simply ran away from the bitterness that seemed inevitable at that point. I am also afraid I had simply draged the game of 'I am having problem with my best friend just like you 'a little to far and actually started believing it. I guess I tried too hard to be in the shoes of D after his unfortunate break off from his best friend. Guess I stepped too surely and too comfortably into those shoes. A mistake!It has been almost 4 months. Like always I think I felt sure I would in the end work it out with Sam. But honestly now I feel it has become too late to try and do anything. At one point of time calling her for her birthday had seemed a good thing, it seemed a good idea even to give her some time to cool off. But may be it wasn't such a terrific idea! After all the more time she has had may have deepened the hurt or pain and even made certain her misunderstandings against me. So it is quite futile, what more could I do?There is a terrible feeling! A feeling that I let down our friendship and worse for someone who really doesn't care for me. Inspite of all he will do or still does the hate once ingrained can never really be wiped away, they have left scratches and with every false step they become more etched into my heart and I am afraid I shall never really be close to him. Don't expect that was the motto, inspite of all I was sceptical whether we would meet further, that is ok I belive, it is my duty to call once on Sunday as a goodwill gesture on friendship day, although i can very well skip it, after all i have already sent the cards... but still one can as an attempt to retrieve an object one desires back, if only he would have brought it lawst day.Shows how much he cares! He can go to hell I don't care, just return ,my god damn CD.

10:25 PM 8/4/05

Well I have been asked why my blogs are not being updated, one reason I can give instantly is that I haven't had the time, and the second is there's hasn't been any thing worthwhile to write about.The second reason is perhaps a bit untrue, but then again, normally I write almost everything in the blogs never expecting them to be read. Yet they are being read and well in certain terms it's flattering to think that my posts are being sought after even if in jest.So this calls in for some fresh spate of creativity, And thanks due to Rick, who else but my very own Fellow Libran.After the re-christening of TC3 in to Sabrina, there has been certain developments, one being I don't get to see Rick everyday, although it has been only a week or so but I do feel it's been a long time, but then Librans have an uncanny habit of popping up when you least expect them. So, today's call from him requires special mention, for that is the very reason I have sat down to write.
The Prodigal has returned and created quite a surprise I must say. And well out of my civility and perhaps selfishness I went to meet him. Gave him his much dusty and cobwebbed birthday gift. And was of course expecting my CD's back but then the old bloke seems to be suffering from Alcheimerz, his own admission.Although the outing didn't come to blows, there was that restraint I felt, in all that I said and did, and finally as the day waned into dusk I felt the faint whiff of melancholy in the air, but before things got too out of hand, we walked away, and as always the cab reached its destination.Thank god for little mercies!Frankly there is an ease, how much of it put on and pretension I cannot fathom, yet, there is this new feeling, of what more to say, why say anything anymore!2 friends down the hatch, well good going , soon at the rate at which you are going there won't be anymore left to lose. Great Going indeed, girl, you are the very best when it comes to being a lost case, as lost as it can get.Again thank god for small mercies, a call cheered you up. Well, dear Fellow Libran what can I say you made my day with your words. Thanks Pal!!
And a small lil prayer goes out for you from my heart.
take care!!
sleep tight!!
love..
Sabrina!! ;-)

a long time since

hi everyone,
yes it has been such a long time since i have posted anything on the blog. i have been busy after my training with classes and other things.
although i have made attempts and managed to write a few lines but they have not seen the light of the net. yes, i have been rather lazy in that.
i tried posting a bit of it recently only to realize that the place i was accessing the net from had the site barred.
recently i also got a bit of feedback from 'juicyfruit' a park ranger from US, that was exciting to think that someone out there read what i was wiritng.
thanks to him.
I haven't been seeing much of Rick, hopefully when i finally update my blog you will read a bit about whats been happening here.
till than cya...

re-christened!

I will be known as TC3 - Sabrina , from henceforth!

I stand rechristened by Mr. Rick.

Thank you!

Abhishek, that's a really cute ass!
On Koffee with Karan March 11, 2005


Pick-up lines fly fast and thick as the sexy Abhishek Bachchan and the zesty Preity Zinta make conversation over java beans with the wickedly witty Karan Johar.The first time they were on the show, both lost out on the coveted coffee hamper.This time, they’ll do just about anything to take the hamper home.

Karan: Abhishek Bachchan, son of a living legend. He is probably the most eligible bachelor in the country today.Suddenly emerging as the sexiest thing on Indian celluloid, my first guest on this show is back on popular demand because the girls couldn’t get enough of baby Bachchan. He is ready to bed, wed and knock you dead. Let’s welcome Abhishek Bachchan again on this show.
Karan: How does it feel to come again on the show?
Abhishek: Not too happy.Karan: Why?
Abhishek: No… just…
Karan: I just said you were back by popular demand, we got e-mails and letters and all kinds of phone calls saying bring the junior B back but this time with a girl. Why do you think that happened?
Abhishek: Because they all empathised with the fact that I didn’t win the coffee hamper last time. So they wanted to give me an opportunity to win it again.
Karan: Don’t tell me you are still sulking?
Abhishek: I am still sulking.
Karan: We are not going to go there. We will be talking about your single status. What does it feel like? I mean you know I am quite shocked because I never ever thought you would be called sexy Abhishek in my wildest dreams. You were this brat who was part of my childhood. You are sexy. Do you believe it?
Abhishek: (nods).Karan: You are lying. You have women hitting on you all the time?
Abhishek: No.
Karan: Of course, you do. Your father is not here so come on talk to me.
Abhishek: No, I really don’t.
Karan: Of course, you do. You told me you do, so don’t lie. I have a lie-o-meter! (Holds the lie-o-meter ready) Women don’t hit on you?
Abhishek: No (smiles).
Karan: (Beeps the lie-o-meter) Contemporary heroines don’t hit on you?
Abhishek: They hit me, like I said last time.
Karan: They hit you? That’s all very well to get out of it. Talk to me Abhishek, the whole world wants to know you are eligible. They say you are sexy so admit to it or talk about it because that’s what the show is about and that’s why you’re back on the show.
Abhishek: It’s very embarrassing. To think people refer to me in such a way. To be a purist at heart I think every actor would rather be known as an actor.
Karan: You know who our next guest is don’t you?
Abhishek: Yes I do, and she has been whistling from behind. She’s had it when she comes out here.
Karan: I’m not going to introduce her I want you to introduce her.
Abhishek: Karan’s next guest tonight is somebody who I consider to be a very special, and good friend. She is Preity Zinta, a very talented actor and more importantly a wonderful human being. I would like to invite on stage Basanti.
Karan: How does it feel Preity not winning for Veer-Zaara? It was a major film this year.
Preity: Well, it’s ok, you know. I think what’s important is that the film did really well. I was appreciated and that was the people’s choice.
Abhishek: I will translate what she was saying: “I can’t believe I lost. Rani, she was nominated for best supporting actress, why could they not give her just that? I should have won best actress, just because I didn’t show up!
Preity: (Nods with a surprise)
Karan: Tell me your response for not winning the award for Veer-Zaara.
Preity: I won Jodi No1 (smiles)
Karan: With Shah Rukh, of course.
Karan: What happens when there is a certain amount of criticism that’s thrown your way?
Preity: I think, Karan, everyone is entitled to an opinion. And I don’t challenge that because when I see a film or when I see something I have my own opinion, I have no problem. I have a problem with journalists if their opinion is based on if I did a film for their friend or I didn’t attend their party or if I did not wish them, which I always do, because I think it’s good to be polite. But when it becomes malicious, that opinion I don’t agree with. You can tell me “Preity you were not that good in a movie.” I will work harder in my next movie.
Karan: Picture a scenario that you don’t know this boy. But he is Abhishek. He is seated in a single’s club. It’s a hypothetical situation. And now what would you do?
Preity: Oh, he basically wants to entertain the whole world with our imaginary conversation.
Karan: Yes, I want pick up lines.
Abhishek: I have seen somebody do this. (Enacts while he explains) A girl is having a drink while this person goes up to her and takes the ice, throws it down and crushes it and says, “Now that I have broken the ice what’s your name? (Preity laughs).
Preity: What would you like it to be? (Giving a sensuous look and fluttering her eye lids).
Abhishek: I have got the slimiest one. (Sits closer to Preity) Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again? (Everyone laughs).
Preity: Sorry honey, I am not wearing my lenses today!
Karan: So this is your pick up line Abhishek?
Abhishek: No, I don’t know any pick up lines Karan. I have never managed to ask a lady out on a date.
Preity: Achcha? What about you Karan?
Karan: Nobody has ever tried to pick me up!
Preity: But I believe, can I say this on TV? Somebody came to Karan, this big, well-built person, with his photos and everything and said, “I would like a role in your movie.” And Karan said, “Ok, leave your pictures here and meet my assistants and I will get back to you. So the guy jumps over the table and says, “I am ready to do anything!”
Karan: Thank you Preity for saying things that you are not meant to say and shocking poor Abhishek.
Karan: What is the sleaziest pick up line you have heard of?
Abhishek: One lady came up to me and said, “That’s a really cute ass.” I almost fainted. I thought she was not talking to me and I turned and looked around.
Karan: It’s not that terrible.
Preity: May be it would be terrible if she would grab it and say that! (Giggles) Sorry Abhishek.

hello after a while

hi,
well have been busy for a while and unable to post anything. creative block or lack of time, whatever be the xcuse, now i thought i shud write soemthing. i am hoping that by the end of saturtday i will wrap up stuff with thisa project and then only come in for the writeup part of it.
let us hope i am again not detained.
a lil update on D, spoke to him but i feel too much distance now, we exchange forwarded messges and an e-card once a while but that's it. all of it lacks the warmth it once had.
Ricky, has gone for a course which is sad coz i missed out on his advice lately, but he is coming back tomorrow and that is absolutely cute. he was sweet to call. that was rather nice!
also he has one complaint abt the blog, why i spoke abt the mobile bill cheating, but no hard feelings i just thought it was a gret way that's all. and good thing to share.
ok a lil on my plans, may go to Goa in puja with Tan, else, stuck here, my b'day is during the festival.
another bad news D isn't cmin dwn inpuja his parents aare visiting him, dumb!
but i cant help it.
so i guess ashtami is going to be without him, anmd well nw that i an sam aren't frnds any more there is nt much to do on saptami.
new entry!
saptarshi ghosh.
thik thak hai dekhna parega.
abhishek ray, my alma mater jr. too political, i guess!!
for my taste atleast...
no more no less, two in row, ahh!
now shall we paly?!
still no Dus and Sarkar..
one good thing a visit to the saloon, and it's nt that bad, guess, Ish has taste!
lotsa stuff later!!
cya...
ps: Ricky copmplains why no posts so here is one!!
tata

pictures!

The fat bread and the Hotties!!

how is this?

well, after having updated my internet explorer i have a better hand at writng my posts but who to write them for. aha do i sound dissapointed?
no i am not.
it is just that one misses friends when they are not around.
it is very very sad that i will not be seeing much of Rick anymore.
an update on my life, my training is ending this sat hence i am going to be far away from this place..
ahhhhhh! well good times and good friends, i think i will miss them!

saturday!

ok ...
so the party is on.
so lets get down and dancing??!!
ok babes! now for the cool cool coolest.. part!!

hello!
AB says no "kajrare" no me on the dance floor.. euu? who is gonno be Ash, all of us are ASH - haters club member, so, he is doin the jig alone!!

yippe!one more on the dance floor.

rocking party on the cards, outside...
and inside (the house i meant)... quiet talks, whispers and giggles, and rolling about on the floor.. killing me with laughter!!
hee hee heeeee haa he ee
oopsd,! chocked!
aghhhhhhhhh!!

hey babes, did u hear this one...? Rick's gt his own apparel brand..
horizontal stripes, tshirts in bi-color is goin to be his brand. i mean these r known as Ricky T's.. heehee..

although his frnds wearing one today, appearently a n older version.

also here's a good idea for all u folks havin to keep ur cell bill within a limit and havin to give a printout wid marked out nos: of personal calls and official.. ones.

dwbnload the excel ver of the bill frm the net and change the samn nos: and wohoa! we have a fake bill.
so Rick's faking it!! heee heeeeee!

ruminaration

Rick had asked me why i read my own blog, i think the ans will be bcoz they will give me more thoughts to produce more posts. now he here is one of them.
just read the post where i say 'no more sharing, darling!' but do i ever take heed, no way..
because right after that i let Rick give me a lift home and well, give a lot of 'good' advice. after all what else can one say but that.
i cannot imagine if ever i would have been able to live down the experience had it not been for a number of people i had met before. i am sure a sense of disillusionment would have set in after a Libran, but thank god for better senses.
i think disillusionments are far from me, atleast for now.
libran or otherwise, expectations are the mother of all Fish ups.
heehee hee
a few more mins and i am free...
thats that!
so i helped the co to prepare the questionnaire and other basic tools for administering the questionnaire, after which i may ofcourse leave, come back for my data later after they have collected and show the analysed results...
here's to a lot of crap! cheers!!!

last but not the least i assume i ought to start working on the report.. atleast the one i will submit at instt.

will write in before i leave or may be not..... .....

MEN

i so hate them..... ughhh!
i swear!
tht bastard is using my stuff and is so nonchalant about it, that son of a bitch!
i swear the smug smile on his face just makes ma wana turn around and slap his face across.

rich dad...

read articular bk title on the net, dwnloaded and excerpt, but i am assuming it is quite worthless.
but the point is, i am absolutely sure dad any where in a pvt co and at a higher post or othrwise will be able to do wonders to ur career.
i cant imagine wat my life wud hve been if i hd my dad in sme pvt co i wud hve such a breezy life. wrong proffesion to get in i believe...
anyway, why regret, wats done cannot be undone!
nt tht i am being bitter, just reflecting!!

another on the comment!

"the more matured looking (at least tryin to look that way)....office going....woman like...."

well jus a couple of q's ..
pretending, yes good!
but office going and woman like separate?? i have a query, r they separate.. as in office going, and woman like or together.
coz if it is separate i am stunned tht u shud say it tht way.. i mean ok, i pride myself at nt being like most 20 somethings, it is disgusting, being all u knw, types... i jus dont wana be like them,and as far as being a woman and all tht is concernd, i dont have much of a choice i am a woman soooooooo, no hassle and pretending there, ehhhhhh????????
and thats tht!!
wat else... ummm mmm ..... ok ...

ki kora jai, boloto??
wana watch sarkar and dus...
houseful shows, weekdays +sat office, sun shows priced sooooooooo high and me totally broke, will be atleast at the end of tmrw....
these r the times i miss my friend D, anyway! guess thats selfish.. .. . ..
aha, jus heard navneet saying sarkar is good, read a revier on etc , abhishek is goooooooooooooood aaaaaahhhhhhhhhaaaaaahhhhhhhahhha! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
FISH!!!!!
why why why....
i am so so sad. nt really!
eei arki, bondhu gulo emon, shab kata asto gadha, jato boli chal inox jate hai, well , no one will go and stand in the line for tickets and no one wants to spent 200 at the movies, cheapos!!
i mean D that way was a lil well a lot better...
i have severe probs wid ppel who have money hangups, priyasha being one.
ughhh!!
anyway, y am i saying all this to u..
well i cnt say this to D so, thts why..

a live response to a comment...

well read Rick's comment, as i mentioned to him,i will get up and slap him right across his face and it will be most certainly more fun than pple seeing me in his car...!! ???? the next time he calls me 'dumbo'.hope he remembers that. one more thing abt me, i love slapping men.. hee hee!!
one of my fav happy thots.. the othr being strangling pple.

so nw abt his lil or long comment abt my "change" or so he says!

thnx i guess. but dont trust my chnge as it is as temporary as my moods, which are knwn to swing rather wildly.

well i have gone thru his comment, and i knw i am ok wid it bt might chnge(again) my opinion later as in the secnd and thrd readin...

so wat more cn i say, nothing really!

i am the same person essentially and no one cn chnge me, nt even wrds frm a fellow libran unless i want to .. and well as i ws saying to pple, tht, there are only two men in this world who cn hurt me by their words, sayan and D, i care for them a lot,even if i hate them and i dont think i want to make Rick the third. for obvious reasons, it wud mean i wud have to hate him...

and if i cn hate a libran then to that is the end of it!!

anyway...

i decided after the howling, that i didn't want to ... let him make me feel bad abt myself, enuff is enuff, and honestly libran or othrwise men are impossible.....
i honestly feel that.

they r fun as frnds , grt to hang out with, funny at times, humorous, caring even but that can chnge or degenerate (if i may say that) into the 'B' they are.

srry for the bitterness.
guess i just figured that 'pretending' isn't half as bad as being spontaneous.

i hope this wasnt too harsh..
thats the straight forward person.........

reejoug said...
WHAT IS IT THAT REMINDS YOU OF A MONGOOSE AFTER YOU SEE ME????

good u howled....and i think there is a distinct change in pranks after that day....even if you dont realise it yourself....

to be honest, i like it....the more matured looking (at least tryin to look that way)....office going....woman like....

yet the same hyper pranks....

i LIKE it....

kuch nahi

ji aaj halat aisi hai ke kaam karne ka maan hai magar kaam nahi.
that was a little doodling in hindi, dabbling/ doodling, watevr..!!

so i am at wrk with no wrk, wallah! me happy, yes, that i have informed u already.

y'day ws fun and well , my cell is still out, and good thing, me buying a new cell i think i will give this to mummum, she will find this easier to handle, i will taek the old cell she is using, it is similar to the one i already had and tht which is concked out!

ummm what else, somebody looked so hot that i couldn't take my eyes off him, and well forgot to breathe even.

hee hee!! i must say abby baby is soooo coool. umm also H O T!!
Delicious!... hee hee !!!!

wat else. sat big nite out, or in??? whtevr..
me and gang getting together in karoke style, mean in a karoke disc,a nd rocking a bit then a bit of din din, or may be lotsa... of it!! din i mean! hehe!

small laugh and big laugh!!

and a lil more of ... "dancing in the rain.."
"i could have danced all night,and stil have begged for more..."

now then comes a lil and long nitecap... but when is SARKAR and DUS happening buddy!!

u knw i do miss D a lot when it's movies realease time, he ws a nice partner to watch movies with...

and Ricky shud stop chewing his nails!! staring at the blank screen at that!!!!!

a moral frm a story....

Men might be ungrateful idiots ... But fairies are...female.

a day of reckoning... that was !!

y'day Rick dropped me hme and dropped a rude bomb on me too, the truth stung me pretty bad! but hey aren't these the traits of real friends...?
i went home howled with the Red Hot Chilli Pepper blaring, then howled in the shower, tried wathcing sum stupid sitcom, then gave up. dad returned, so went into my room, turned out the lights, drew the curtains, out on keeny g and was ready to cry myself to sleep when woolah! who messages??? guess ??? Garfy! yippe! it was a chain message of sorts asking pple to describe you in jus 1 word. and well i did it and it was great awesome infact!
i loved it.. and cheered up immidiately!!

and then well then a lot of things happened....... shall we say i am happy.
jus happy!

some of the words i got to describe me were......

honest
straightforwrd
cute
hot
sweetie
crazy
nitwit
lively
fun
.
.
.
.
.
and
.
.
.
.
Love....
hee hee
anyway, jokes apart, inspite of all the sarc i gt frm Fellow Libran, i guess he takes things a lil too hard!! anyway!! my frnds wud nvr say anything to my parents ever,as tht is concerned, they wud go out of the way to protect me...

i love my frnds!!

last day!

hey. i got hold of the lyrics of the song i was talking about, i wish i could audio blog this, but here the facilities are nt available, so u will have to do with the written words...

fossils...

hasnuhana

oh mou tumi jano na je maajh raatein
ekgheye eei bichanate
aajo katha boli kar sathe
janina kar ki jaye ba ashe tate
tai gaan gai raasta te
aar bhule jai pastate
jibon cholche na aar soja pathe
dekho aajo hashi kono mote
beche gechi boli hote hote
hoyeto more gele hoto beshi bhalo
keni eto sukh phele gelo
jiboner shera sriti gulo

sriti eshe roj darjate
kara nare aar hath pate
aar bhenge pore kannate.
utpat hoye deshehara
tar bhoye hoyi ghar chara
di- palayane ashkara- amaye

eei pran eei bhabe palatak holo
tobu jabe kahatok bolo
shech hoye geo petrolo
thami shunshan phaka bypasse
aar ridoyer circuse
sriti daye duo aar hashe
bolo grina korbe ki priyotoma?
jadi cheye nite boli khama
boli show cause ta dite jama
a hridoye daptor paltache na
abshar neowa jache na
(are!!) phuteche hasnuhana- takao.

a song tht made me think of a lot of things at a time when a lot of things were forgotten and yet remembered.
i am not clear yet, i am sure there is something in those lines that makes me think...
today i did a blooper......
ended up calling D at 5.09 in d morn by mistake, his number was on my speed dial, and i did what i shouldn't have done.
it was stupid ofcourse to be afraid, but i was, the ph connected instantly and i discnncted as fast as i could.
so, i got up and went and drank a lil milk and sat contemplating.
today morn when i told this to Rick thinking of sharing my thots wid him finally i was rudely awoken... pple dont care to be nice even if they are librans. i was busy wonderign maybe he has chnged his no: or may be he isn't calling, soemthing, i even said good he hasnt call, but unexpectedly Rick suggested he hasnt called bcoz he doesnt want to and that hurt me. i guess truth hurts me all the time especially if said rudely...... on my face.
he could have been a lil nicer.
anyway wats done cannot be undone.....
and he came and spoke to me i did nt answer not coz i was angry but coz i would lose the train of my thought.
i have nothing and should not anything against Rick, he is nice and that's all there is to it.
no more sharing darling! nobody ever understands.
u shud knw tht more than any1.
i wish i cud copy all the lyrics but this is just one of the songs i like so.....
and well i was quite happy to share the lyrics, and that Rick was nice enuff to bring it...... i was thinking, of brining the Fossils 2 cd for him, i guess i shud ask before bringing so that i do not feel like a fool.
well, guess some pple have been makin me feel tht way, strange they shud look similar... souvik and Rick!!
anyway!

a married man

i ws chatting wid the person concerned and he kept refering to his wife as the 'girl' which really pissed me off so i diconnected the msger.

fossils

that is the name of a bangla band.
i know this guy who is friends with the band members......
i got their new cd fossils-2 and the previous cd has a very cool song my fav.
jibon... cholchena ar soja pathe
tobu hashi kono mote...
beche gechi boli hote hote...
jiboner shera sriti gulo...
etc etc.
don't remember the rest of the lines in order but hope to write them down tomorrow, i feel i had written it somewhere....... some diary i guess.
but nice song and i like it, a lot.
so does my fellow libran... ;-)

agar tum mil jao....

online post..

what should i write, there is so much to say and yet so little time, what could be the solution to this pain and this hurt? if there be a problem there ought to be a solution as well, but where can i find that solution?
people are jealous and envious at times, yet i seem to bear the brunt of it most of the times. the fact that sid is jealous of Rick reminds me of Sam, how mean she was.
right now they are discussing them. just cause you happen to work in the same company as he, is not really his fault. but i myself would have been irritated with him. i cannot imagine what he is supposed to do to prove himself. actually, the point is whatever he may do no one will believe that he is here for his merits. and perhaps that is the question. if he were a bad employee it would have been a correct interpretation but when he is good at what he does every one is even more jealous.
sad!
but i mustn't speculate.
i was thinking about Sam. she had said that no one can stop her from getting through english hons, that was too proud on her part and without thinking i had retaliated, you will not need anyone, i am enough to stop you. the point is, i had never realised that this would have happened eventually. wonder did she know that??
she was so jealous, why? but i guess there is no explaination.
sid, is having a talk with his boss, and why, is it, could it be about Rick. they keep refering to him, why???
anyway, not my issue to meddle. but i can't imagine how bad he must feel........... Rick i mean.

at it again!

7/5/05 8:28 AM

Abhishek is so hot! Yes, can't imagine any one else lip-syncing the "shik doom" song. Ahh! As Paro says, amazing lips, lip smacking well, nahh, delicious! Ha ha! But so sad that she doesn't dream of him, good, actually very good, I guess I have the monopoly here. Ahh! Why am I writing about Mr. AB, well Sarkar his latest flick is winning rave reviews, and well more the better. And I got to watch it, Ram gopal Varma and AB Sr and Jr together, add a dash of K.k. and we are already rocking!
Can't imagine how cool that is going to be. Inspite all the moroseness over lost friends and lovers, ehh? Lovers, no not really, that's a zilch when it comes to D. how can a straight guy possibly get through 2 years with me, yep, me, and well still remain straight! Hee hee! That was a joke! Point, is yesterday, I raised a decent enough doubt against MR. D's sexual orientation, his excessiveness fondness towards Mr. K and well the lot actually. And no girlfriends, yes he was a fan of Ms. Dixit but well no one said you couldn't like a chick jus coz you are gay! Hee hee! I am soooo bad!
A good enough doubt, after all 2 years is a fairly long time. I think this sometimes, honestly, am I not bored of him; after all he was not really my "lover". Hey, I guess I was. Anyway, I think that must be the reason, I don't tell anyone anything, what if I spilled the "desire" beans. Well that is a little secret and shall we keep one? But my blog is supposed to be the one place I am honest about myself. So, here goes nothing. Well, liked D, liked him a lot, may be I mistook my DESIRE for him as love. Are they the same, difficult question? Dhoom has a rocking score; I think Dus is going to rock too.
Just a thought AB's one word movies are rocking for him, any thing in that observation.
Now for some facts and nor fiction! Yesterday, I was going for a nice drive with Rick, of course my boss was as usual irritating. Now Rick and his driving, has been the topic of discussion, with my friends, obviously. People do not realize the confusion, the happiness and all the other mixed emotions when one is faced with ones mirror image, only in the other gender. Well, I think if I ever ventured to actually drive a car I would be just like him, or more like so it is ok to be like what I think I would, cause here is an example of a very good driver. Love speed, and of course there is "need for speed" and well as they say, fast guys are cool. Now here is a person you would have been really cool with as a friend, and it would be so cool to have friend like him. Not that my other friends aren't cool, they are ,only thing none of them are here, why?
The remix version of shik doom is quite disgusting.
Ok enough of Rick! Actually one more thought, clarification, he does not have a CD player as one assumed, that's so sad, but I guess a 3- CD changer would look better in a Sedan than a small car.
Now a lil on dreams, Ahh! When will I have a car and drive around, Ish says she won't go to office in the car, she is so late half the days, how will she drive and brush her hair, I don't have to worry about that. But I guess I too wouldn't really want to drive out in the morning. But if I don't go to office what's the use of a car? To go out on weekends, Ahh remember, very important note, don't join a company with 6-day workweek. Sat and sun have to be off.
As Ish says got to get in a company that pays lots and gives a lot of time to spend it. Ahh the line of EMI's. Hee hee!
Car, cell, PC, etc etc.. And the trappings.
But I guess Ish is right, no use flaunting dad's car, after all the senior whom Sipu saw was driving his dad's car, that's rather cheap. After all you need not drive in your dad's car, or use anything of his money when you're earning. But Garfy is facing the music with his dad's car at office, makes sense to travel in a pool car, of course one has to see that I gave him that warning a long time ago. It should have occurred to him on his own. But men are so dumb!!
As far as Rick is concerned he is in the worst possible scenario, dad in the same co, high post, driving in the same car, terrible!! I cannot imagine! No wonder Sid and all hate him. I can't imagine how he doesn't see it; I guess that's what happens to nice people. Like Rahul na?! But I am too much of a cynic not to take in any niceness from any one with a pinch of salt.
Guess it is worse coming from a classmate; after all he is Rick's classmate. Looking at him talking with Rick and then saying those horrible things after he leaves, makes me see the point God made with Sam, she was not a true friend, she was jealous, something I can't perhaps imagine, that is my failing! Hardly the proper attitude of a cynic, no wonder she hated me, after all Sid is so jealous of him, even Supriyo, stupid guy, but I can't but feel sad for him, poor creature, has such a stupid family, miserable, he must be! Has to be after such shocks, but one feels sad, yet is that the excuse to be nasty! See people are always jealous of Librans cause of their charm and friendly behavior, I think every body suspects us Librans of some sinister planning when there is none.
See, you got to live with the envy of people for the rest of your life, and so you better learn, of course I would never leave the place like Rick is doing, guess he has other stuff on his mind, if I was here, I would have rubbed there smug lil faces on the carpet, and what with my own dad an ED, I would screwed their careers very nicely! But I guess I have a mean streak.

good morning!

GOD THOUGHT THAT SINCE HE COULD NOT BE EVERYWHERE SO HE MADE A MOTHER.

THEN THE DEVIL THOUGHT THAT HE COULDN'T BE EVERYWHERE,
SO HE MADE A MOTHER-IN LAW!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
that comes from a friend, and i am sure most of u gals wud agree!!
no offence meant!

an offliner

(20/06/2005 8:24:41 PM): it seems that I have stopped existing for u, good for u no more heartbreaks and silly tantrums from me, right?

brilliant, where do these men come from? ridiculous! now he is crying over spilt milk, the @#$^ i am stunned, really am.

and then the silly man sends in a mail equally lame, i am so so sick and tired of these men......... all of them are the same, yes, all of them.

men are impossible!!!

i swear! and there is nothing more to say.

7/1/05 8:34 AM

Y'day was fun, and why not, I went out with my friends and it was a blast. I do so love them dearly! At office burdened with some dumb files, I cut my thumb and it was all bloody and messy, left after that for home, took a cab to home, got off, left my 2kg office bag, and went to cit center. It was great to meet the guys after so many days. Hound, Pri, Paro and Joyie. We 5 tripped to KFC, munched down a chicken and it was just too horrible, my burger was decent, but the original recipe of fried chicken was disgusting. Too horrid!
In all this Joyie's bf decided to create a fracas about her chili shaped earrings, dumb guy! A thorough MCP. But that was not the disaster, we sat on the soft grass on the lawn, and chatted, it was so good. All of us were aware that here we are making memories that have to last us a long long time. Hound came up with his future vision, us in offices, at this time next year. When we wouldn't be able to say, I am meeting up my friends after a long time, and I do want to meet them so badly. Well life's coming to an end.
Anyway, after that we came to my house and it was adda and games all the way till 6.30pm. We have made plans and I am not going to divulge them because we don't want then not to come true. Ahh negative + negative= positive. Shucks!
Every time any one asked me about D I went, "oh I don't want to talk about him, I hardly care where he is." But I did read the mail so many times; I haven't stopped thinking about him. And it is really killing me. It is. But then I know there is only so much I can take. I don't want to think a lot about all that is past. Not now, not ever. God only knows what is not in store for me.
FYI: not getting married in 2009 dec, Hound says a lil later. But then Marriage and me are poles apart. Hee hee!
"Every time you go away you take a piece me with you."
Wonder what's with Rick! Very busy these days, on one hand that's good!
But I guess I am worrying after him. I mean I oughtn't. I wish he wouldn't misunderstand my blog, after all this blog unlike others is all about real stuffs and not trying to be creative. Listening to my collection of BEST romantic songs and well, I am not crying, that's good!
One last info, dreamt of D right in the morn! It was too real.
As far as my reply to him is concerned he hasn't written, anything! May be doesn't check his mail regularly!!
I am not expecting anything!
Today is office day and well, here's a life that I do not like yet I must live for I have made the choice.
I do love my friends. They are such sweethearts. Seeing them making them at home in my house I thought just once about D, and I didn't want to have all the memories come flooding back to me, hey, who says my life's boring, I have had so many escapades, I am sure I will write a fairly interesting autobiography!!