miss u babes

hallo!
sometimes i cannot fathom your feelings for me.(7/01) you think i am special yet not so spcl as to be ur gf. no i am not complaining. i am merely thinking. why do u say u will nt fall for anyone? yrt when u talk of ur wife or mariage- u laugh abt it? seem serious abt it. i will get married in 2009 and the day u get married so i don't hve to go to ur stupid wedding. how do u know tht i suffer frm mood swings? why cn u only understand and nt be angry? why will othrs think i am rude and not u? how is it possible tht u wud care so much for me yet not love me? or is it tht u love me but do not want to confess abt it? what is the ans? u want me to come to delhi, why? coz "my friend" is there. why? wud u hve done the same? don't u knw tht i shudn't cme to delhi coz ur jus my frnd nothing more. i guess u'd expect all ur frnds to visit u, and i am no different. othrs don't think differently, they think alike, u think differently. thts why perhaps when othrs loved me, u don't. my logic seems to be breaking up.but u don't see what everyone sees so well.......
u are on the train bck to delhi right now.(8/01) i don't knw whtever i said yday will hv a bad effect on u- i did not mean to hurt u, i jus got upset a bit. ultimately i was able to say.. don't go... do u hve to go? did it sound stupid, baby? but do want u to do so well, top ur class, be the best in everything u do but i just miss u so much sometimes. when u say i am used to u priyanka.. i wonder is tht good or bad?
babes i miss u so much! demand and supply, so true, why cant my life reach a mkt equlibrium- u knw where my demands are met by perfect supply.
where u fall in love with me when i am in love with u. the perfect match.
i won't attend ur wedding, and tht's tht.i will get married xactly the day u get married and not be there to see ur stupid wife.
(9/01) u still hvent called. y? u reached delhi i jus called u.
u said u will ring me later u hvent as yet..

Now that you are gone
the time has found a snail's pace.
yet when i have the closeness
why does i feet so fast?
smaller fragments of memories
still smaller pieces of feelings
jumbled up together in a box.
i keep it hidden from you,
i shake it sometimes
and a piece falls out.
memories flood my heart
tears run down my cheeks.
and i know i still love you.
and i know i can't live without you.
and i know you will never be mine.

" please forgive me, i can't stop loving you."-- bryan adams.

i watched Raincoat today.. when two estranged lovers meet....
the character of ajaydevgan wrote... agar tumhari shaadi mujhse hoti to tumahri sari zimmedari meri hoti...
ash's char writes... bhagban ki marzi hoti meri shaadi tumhare saath hoti, kya tabhi tum sankoch karte?
bengali te translate korle better sonaye..
"tomat sange amar biye hole, tomar sab daitto to amari hoto."
this movie wud hve been better in bengali...
tumi chole gecho arr amar kashto hoche. etaki infatuation na attraction. if neither then is this love? i wonder sometimes tomake eto bhalobashi tobu y don't u love me? then amar mone hoye may be i don't love u. tomar kache "love" er definitoon ta ki bolte paro.ke jane koto kichu baite lekhe sab kichu ki sotti? kintu eto gulo lok jara tomake chene tara ki amr moton kasto paye? tomar bondhu der chinle bhalo hoto, atleast i cud hve shared their feelings abt u. ami bhabi tomar othr frnds also love u,tara ki pagoler moton shudhu tomar katha bhabe? tato naye...tahole ami emon keno kori?
jano i realized smething today... "kashto" kathatar english translation hoye na.. holeo it doesn't express the same feelings...
ur frnd