Yesterday I went out with Ish to City Centre and it was fun, we went to check out KFC but when that didn't work out we went to hangout. I mean I had thought that I wouldn't be able to walk in those same places without being overwhelmed. Well I slept well last night, but today morn when I sat and wrote that post, I started crying. It was painful.
I read books and stare out and feel I have overcome him, but I haven't and I can feel it in my bones.
Today again I went to city center, so we decided to indulge in some forbidden pleasures. What were you thinking? We were thinking of smoking. It rained throughout the morn and it was boring, so in the eve we went to city center smoked a couple of cigarettes, not even joints!! Anyway, it sometimes angers me that men should have the option to mope over lost relations, drink and smoke and get laid, and I am to smile and pretend everything is fine. Why? Wrong question, ehh?
Tomorrow I have to go to college, for a meeting and I am wondering whether to go to office, I kind of feel as if I will feel rather alone there with no Rick. But again I think am I giving one person too much credit for my mood swings. But I will miss him, won't I? Sweet guy, quite unfair that he should suffer for no fault of his own. Why don't people like D suffer, terrible people, they ought to feel their dreams ruined, then they would learn the lesson. But then again let us not get into the cursing mode. Why bother such people!
I liked Rick, his sense of humor but most important was the way he handled himself, amazing, sitting a little away from him, I think and constantly wonder, how much he suffers, and yet he smiles. That say in the car, anyone would have felt the pain, yet there he was smiling, doing silly things and it broke my heart to see him.
I must never listen to the radio, they always play songs to make me cry. They are playing, " jab koi baat bigar jaye jab koi mushkil par jaye…"
So true, yet I feel so lonely, so sad.
Why did you leave me?
The tears stain my face and I keep taping at the keys thinking, why and I know there is no answer, "na koi hai, na koi tha zindagi mei tumhare siva..'
Can I sing that? Rick would probably disagree.
Oh stop it! RICK, Rick, what's the use, and why the hell do you keep repeating his name in your conversation? Admire all you want, you can never be like him. You will break down and cry, and what have you to cry, you have never loved anyone, have you?
SAYAN, DWAIPAYAN… who have you loved? No one.
You never loved them, you just wanted them real bad…. That's it!
Rick has reasons, better far better reasons to be upset, why the hell do you cry? Don't you dare cry! Don't you dare say your sad.
But I am sad, I am miserable, I miss you, I miss you DWAIPAYAN. I have put myself in a bind, I can't call you, please call me? Please!
At least Rick is not around, you shouldn't care about what people will think, just call him damn it!
But he is with his gf, and why do you go for the ride, it will only hurt you? Let him go.
I wish someone would tell me how to fight this. Rick, how about him? But he is too busy!
I have no friends today. Yes. No Sam , no Sayan, no Pablo_pranks, this is over, I wonder if I am making a big mistake. I feel so incomplte without you.
S#!t ! I just said the same things the song "Incomplete" says. That's by Backstreet boys.
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