From home where HR Trainee is very lonely tonight

6/9/05 12:13:40 AM
I don’t know why but suddenly I feel a longing for the office to continue. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have office. I think I would have gone mad. Not that I am not going mad already with all this employee satisfaction. But then it would be different. Well, there is some pride in going mad for professional reasons. Bad logic, ehh?
Somehow missing out on office cause of the god forsaken fever was an eye opener. At least I had a good time keeping awake and without the luxury of thinking up delightfully melancholy thoughts. Confused? let me explain.
I love mopping about life. My life seems to me the worst and the most miserable. I just got asked a question by a friend on the messenger, “how is your love-life?” he asked, and I replied, “life sucks and well love, I haven’t found it.” What I also would have mentioned unless interrupted my the office environment is that, I don’t seem to be able to believe in love anymore, the very existence of this creature (mythical!) “love” is in severe doubts. All sorts of speculation have been the order of my day as well as night (as you can see!)
So you see how badly I can crib and cry about my life. Ahh! Mein Kamph! Definitely a spelling mistake there. Who cares, Hitler’s no longer alive to correct me.
Sick joke I must say, something really bad has happened to my sense of humor. It’s stinking the place up, I think it’s dead, poisoned like a rat. Yakh!
Well no more “Happy Guy” no more happiness. That’s a tad bit lame. Who cares about such people!?
ME.
There you go I have said it. Happy now? For all the good advice and my realizations which keep piling up every hour and minute I breathe, I am back to square one, or as I would better put it Hole 1.
Although I don’t exactly remember the words used by a fellow Libran I sure as hell agree. Not with you definitely not your friend. Oh my GOD! I could scream my lungs out.
Well how about a bit of Hypothetical imagery…?
I have D in front of me and what will I do? I will abuse him, first verbally, choicest s.o.b’s and B@#$%#d’s and then perhaps a bit of physical abuse. Yap that would make me ?? not happy, but I guess I would cool down.
Ok, now you try saying it out loud, sweetie. I know you can do it. It is the easiest thing in the world. You know how you feel and how bad he has made you feel. So say it, say it now…
I HATE YOU , I SO DAMN DAMN HATE YOU! I CWISH YOU WERE … we’ll leave it at that shall we. No curses, we aren’t a witch, definitely proud to be B@#$h but no sorcery.
Anyway it is late at night, god, knows if I will feel like going to office tomorrow, may come back home after date with Prof in institute and then get bored. Ughh! No way, even if I am dead tired have to go to office. Empty brain they say is the devil’s workshop and me being the singularly self-aware & s elf- proclaiming devil, my empty brain (if ever it can be empty, by god’s grace) shall become the abode of an angel and I might do something I may regret. So let us not take chances, shall we?
We don’t want emotional outbursts and frantic calling to Delhi. That would be the end of whatever little self-respect you have missy!
Well T”C”3 have some guts and show some courage woman. As Ish pointed out this will take a lot of courage and conviction and self-reliance and some more adjectives. But the point being, for all the PMS and hormonal upsurges, I have Ovaries (like as courageous male termed as having the balls) and I have made a deliberate choice and I shall stick to it.
NO COMMUNICATION WITH D.
PS: remember to copy out all the advice from fellow Libran, will come in handy when your knees go week.