from the hr trainees desk- a digression

6/23/05 8:46 AM
I have not written anything into this journal of sorts for quite a few days. Not that I haven't had time. But I have been feeling a bout of unhappiness. It is not really unhappiness per se; it is more of mixture of feelings. Before they carry me away I must report a few things.
Rick's life seems to be a roller coaster ride now, if not a Business Cycle, A.S. would have been proud of me! But first things first, his life has been a mixture of good news and bad news, I mean not really bad news, may be a touch disappointing.
I wish, I do really. I just hope things work out. I wonder why good people have to face so much difficulty, I think this is rather unfair. He is such a sweetheart, well I have said there, and even if he reads it I don't care, he is sweet and that's that! My opinion and I am entitled to express my opinion under the constitution of India. If he doesn't like it that's his problem.
But, that was not the point I was making, yesterday was a revelation of sorts. Joyie's beautiful love story has hit the tornado, and why? Because she has second thoughts about marriage. Brilliant! Where are these men made, in which factory in Heaven or hell? Is it so hard for them to understand, love does not necessarily and god forbid not end in marriage. Why end it? I just don't seem to get it. If I love someone so dearly that I feel I want to spend the rest of my life with that one person, but I may love someone and not feel the need to spend the rest of my life with him. I guess because lovers get so little time together when they are dating or courting, they feel they would like to see each other all the time. Never realizing that it is the distance that creates the charm, the desire to be together. Then they rush into a marriage and soon realize they can't tolerate each other.
I have always argued that two people should live together spend 24 hours together at least before deciding to get married. Living with a person every day for the rest of your life is huge deal and should be carefully thought about. And her stupid bf is being upset. Of course if this was about some lesser issue this could have been ignore but she is hurt and disillusioned by his adamant refusal to see her point, worse call her names.
Sometimes I play the devil's advocate, although in a personal crisis I would done exactly what she was doing, in front of her, I tried to make her see that he loved her dearly and she was making a hasty judgment. I am sure by today eve everything will be ok. Do the same with Rick, when I se him getting upset with his Dad I ask him questions to make him see that he loves him dearly although I fume at the Sr. G for making his son so miserable. I wonder. I think I do such things cause my friends have always supported me in what ever I have decided are whatever opinions I have formed and I have been angry and upset with a lot of people where I should have forgiven them. I guess there is a 'cons' side to faithful friends. I think I do believe in the rule of friendship which says that friends will help you get up when you fall and they will show you where the puddle is, but I guess one thing they must do if they be true friends is to show that it wasn't the fault of the dog, and prevent you from kicking it, for you had failed to see its tail and had stepped on it. I guess that's what friends should do too.
I don't think I can ever be selfish with people I care for and not give the right advice to them, I think I am selfish but when it comes to people in distress I always tell them the truth, the honest opinion, why? God only knows. I mean for crying out loud I gave D the advice to talk to his gf when I should have instigated him to leave her. That's what you get for being a honest fool!
But I am not complaining I have good friends. After J left yesterday night I was thinking why do I feel that I am the only one who is unhappy? There are so many who I consider lucky and look at them they are suffering. At times I wonder is it not better that I am not in a relationship. To me it has been like a full time job and honestly with so much heartache all around I feel I am better off.
Now about life. Yes, the very important mystery. I was thinking why do good people suffer so much, I guess a religious or spiritual way of seeing this would be to think that since good people are loved by god perhaps a tad bit more than bad people they are always made to learn important lessons in life. When we call life unfair, we do not realize how wrong we are. After all every time we go through a turmoil or difficult situation there is most certainly a lesson at the end of it and we learn it. What if we were given the lesson first and then the hardships, although we may think that we would be better capable of dealing with them I think we wouldn't be. As lessons learnt without an experience are soon forgotten. So I think life is fair, and it would be unfair to blame it. Although it is damn hard not to do it.
But as they say .. "this too shall pass."