9:21 PM 5/8/05

i ended somehing which had been dead for a long time. i was making a futle attempt to revive it. there is nothing left in it anymore, there never was anything left in it. and know it is not the 3 years like he thinks it is much more than that it is my attempts to make these 3 years meaningful and his cold reponses and ruining of all my plans.
i do not know whether i will regret this once again even if i do i have nothing to do anymore, it is too difficult for me to continue.
it hurts too much and it is just futile to continue in this dead relationship. there is nothing left, although i try and revive it he doesn't want to live and i cannot do anything.
i cannot be the second or the nth imporatant person in your life, i am the most important and if i am not i am sorry i am not interested.