old journal entries:

27/02/05
thought of you

it's been quite a few days and no calls from u, not even a lil buzz. yet i knw this is exactly the behavior tht i hve cme to expect, this is the way u hve always been. but why then does this bother me so much? i hve knowingly not contacted you. and tht ws a conscious decision. after all i have to be matured as i keep saying to my self.
howevr there is the othr q that suddenly cropped up in my mind. who am i talking abt?
who r u?
strange such a coincidence!! i think it's some kind of a sick joke right?
after all i got the strength to let u go frm sme1 who cme bck and nw he is only not there. i am it seems forevr doomed to be alone.
pessimistic me!!
xams r knocking on the door and tht is an incentive. it will keep me busy. i wonder will u ring me or contact me the nxt time ur in kol. i do not knw. i wish u wud. i want that.
let's see, i wonder will u cme bck after 2 yrs but then we were in love, this is friendship shud this then take lesser time??
i do not know.
i wish i did
but god's ways are strange
and may be he does have good plans
such as i cannot even imagine.
amin!!