hollywood lesson

Hollywood Lessons
1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving
martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by
one,
dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
predecessors.

2. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down
three
days before their retirement.

3. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of
a
woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her.

4. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

5. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communications system of any invading alien society.

6. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch
enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems,
deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their
captives at least a half-hour to escape.

8. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
the
mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

9. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

10. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through
it
before long.

11. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing underwear.

12. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary
to
turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few
moments.

13. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off, but luckily
you'll always blindly choose to cut the right wire.

14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
duty.

15. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure
they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.