LEESONS THEY DON'T TEACH AT A B SCHOOL

CORPORATE LESSON # 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up
her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few
seconds of arguing
over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the
wife gives up,
quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she
opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
neighbor. Before she
says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $ 800 just to
drop that towel
that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the
woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a
close look at her
for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves.
Confused, but
excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back
up in the towel
and goes upstairs! When she gets back to the bathroom,
her husband
asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the
next door
neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says,
"did he say
anything about the! $ 800 he owes me?"

MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information
with your
stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!




CORPORATE LESSON # 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side
of the road; he
stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly
accepted. She got in
and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and
reveal a lovely
leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg. The nun
looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember
psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He
forced himself
to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove
his eyes from
her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his
hand slide up
her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father,
remember psalm
129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister,
but the mind
is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out,
gave him a
meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival
at the
church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and
looked up psalm
129. It Said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you will
find glory."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your
job; or, you
might miss great opportunities!



CORPORATE LESSON #3
Usually the junior executives and staff of the company
generally
play football; the middle level managers are more
interested in
tennis and the top management usually has a preference
for Golf.
FINDING: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls
reduce in size.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Self explanatory....






CORPORATE LESSON # 4
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when
he found the
CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of
paper in his
hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very
sensitive and
important document and my secretary has left. Can you
make this
thing work?" "Certainly, Sir" said the young
executive. He turned
the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the
start
button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his
paper
disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one
copy."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Never, never assume that your BOSS
knows
everything.




CORPORATE LESSON # 5
There were these 4 guys, Russian President Putin,
Germany's
Chancellor Kohl, Pakistan Dictator Musharraf and
French Premiere
Chirac who found this small genie bottle. When they
rubbed the
bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had
released him
out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4
swimming pools, I
will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the
pool and
jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to
become, and then
your wish will come true." The French Premiere Chirac
wanted to
start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted
WINE". The pool
immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman
was so happy
swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the
Russian President
Putin turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and
immersed
himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and
he jumped and
shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer
pool. The last
is Pakistan's Musharraf. He was running towards the
pool when
suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards
the pool and
shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Mind your language; you never know
what it will land you in.